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Dear Bob Barr, Don't Sue Me
June 18, 2002
By Paul Winkelmann

To: Mr. Alexander
Campaign Manager for Rep. Bob Barr


I was wondering if there are any prerequisites to having Rep. Barr speak at a gathering I am putting together? I know the Congressman is busy and I don't want to waste his time so here is a quick list of questions I have about a possible future speaking engagement.

Will I have to come up with hundreds of thousands of dollars to get Rep. Barr to speak on my behalf (Like the NRA does)? Note: I don't have a board of directors to put Rep. Barr on, so that option is definitely out.

Unlike Rep. Barr's previous speaking engagement at the Council of Conservative Citizens, there may be some African-Americans present at my meeting. Will this be a problem?

Would Rep. Barr promise not verbally assault invited guests who may openly question why it is he spent $200,000 in a failed attempt to prove the Clinton Administration caused an excessive amount of damage (less than 10% of the cost of the GAO's investigation) when they moved 500 people out of the White House Offices (and when the newly appointed pRe$ident moved his co-conspirators in)?

On a similar note, is Rep. Barr open to discussing why he spent a decade slandering the elected President and has paid little attention to the numerous scandals surrounding the selected one?

There are going to be some legal novices in the audience. Some of them have asked me if Rep. Barr would be willing to explain to them the microscopic difference between the frivolous lawsuits and the exceedingly high judgements (above $250,000 is where I believe Rep. Barr set the standard) that Rep. Barr has been speaking fervently against on the House floor, and the current lawsuit he filed because a few individuals hurt his feelings. $30 million being so far above Rep. Barr's $250,000 limit and all.

Some possible attendees have indicated to me that they are very interested in the court proceedings concerning one of Rep. Barr's many divorces. Mostly they want to hear about his refusal to answer questions, under oath, about his own infidelities and how Rep. Barr has rationalized this with his attacks on President Clinton and Rep. Gary Condit for exhibiting similar elusiveness to questions of their own infidelities.

Since Rep. Barr took the 5th about his own indiscretions, is he now legally prohibited from speaking on this subject? (He must be since we all know he is an expert and frequent lecturer on the adultery of others but have heard little on the subject of his own.)

I look forward to your response and to seeing Rep. Barr in the near future.


Paul Winkelmann

Mr. Winkelmann is a future prisoner of the police state once known as the United States of America. His future whereabouts, charges, and length of illegal imprisonment will be imposed by unknown individuals presiding over a secret tribunal.

Note: By reading this article you have implicitly agreed to accept a similar penalty.

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