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Now That Enron’s in Fashion, I’d Like to Make a Fashion Statement!
February 16, 2002
by Anthony G. Hendricks

Predicting the future, of course, is fraught with peril. Especially if you go beyond predictions like: there’s a fifty percent chance of showers today, clearing toward evening and a fifty percent chance of no precipitation tomorrow. At that rate we’re all qualified to do the weather on the nightly news. One thing that’s surprised me is my ability to predict the future in my book, Democracy Bushwhacked, Election 2000, Florida Theater of the Absurd, which has me wondering if I’m a Psychic Satirist. Am I lonely? Not anymore, because in regards to Enron, I can join millions of others in the country -- many writing underground on the Internet -- and say; “We told you so... Idiots,” not that we’d do anything like that mind you. No not at all. But I think we should; Every one of us should go out on April first, at 12:01 a.m. and shout at the top of our lungs, “We told you so... Idiots!” There are enough of us that they might even hear us in Washington D.C. where the bulk of the idiots reside. In case they don’t hear us, I made a suggestion in my book on page 85 that I think is appropriate to reiterate. For any of the Right Wing Totalitarian faithful reading this, "reiterate" means "repeat." (Page 85)

I’d like to make a fashion statement here, one to be applied to all politicians in Washington D.C., spin capital of the world. I believe all politicians should be attired like NASCAR race cars and drivers. Bright suits should rule the day with major corporate sponsors painted in prominent places, like the forehead, for instance, instead of the hood. The lapel and flank instead of the fenders. The back. The ass. Most especially the ass. This way Americans would know exactly who owns their congress person. As a service to his fellow Americans, I believe George should display some leadership in this area and start this fashion trend by wearing a special neon lit ten gallon hat. Powered by solar cell and battery pack, the neon light would flash the name of his major corporate sponsor. Just visualize if you will, George lit up like Las Vegas neon, flashing in red, white, and blue, ENRON.... ENRON.... ENRON. Yes, sir, yes, ma’am. Enron sponsored George in the last election to the tune of something like over forty million dollars. But don’t worry, Enron’s doing okay, they’ve got friends in high places... and California by the short hairs.

You’ll notice a minor flaw in the above prediction. No not the “forty million dollars,” exactly; At the moment no one knows exactly how much money was siphoned off Enron stockholders, and employees, indirectly through the offshore dummy corporations and redirected in various ways into George’s corrupt selection. Corruption takes a lot of funding, and there were thousands hired to cheat in Florida and maybe all over the country. Then there was the unrelenting Right Wing George Propaganda Machine that needed a lot of funding. At this moment no one knows the full depth of Enron’s corruption and where all the money went. Not even that exaggeration may count as an exaggeration in the end. No... where I erred in my prediction was in saying “Enron’s doing okay.” Even with George the Affable running interference for them and allowing Enron to price gouge western energy consumers, and transferring millions of taxpayer dollars directly to Enron through a scam called a tax rebate, Enron couldn’t make it. Only in America can politicians rebate taxes never paid. With the one hand we’re going to give you, the taxpayer, a small rebate on your taxes, with the other hand we’re going to take more of your money and give it to Enron and others, and say it’s okay because it’s government debt. Government debt is code for "the taxpayer owes and must pay principal and interest". The credit card companies run similar legal gambits all the time. They offer a small amount of cash to you as direct payment so that you’ll take their card and go into thousands of dollars of debt to them. The credit card companies, though, can’t force you to go into debt. You can take their money and card and do nothing else. That’s the difference between George running our government and credit card companies. Most credit card companies are, by comparison, honest! The Bush, Inc. Administration can force you to go into debt and pretend it doesn’t matter. Why? Because they own the propaganda machine that always blames every financial problem on the Democrats.

Let’s take a walk down memory lane. Back to the good ole days when the debt was paid down, the economy was booming, Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security looked safe in that there imaginary lock box, yes let’s look back nostalgically to yesteryear; Back when the White House was occupied by a legally elected president who didn’t need to be at war to maintain his presidency.

Remember to get your calendar and mark April 1, 2002 as “We told You So, April Fools Idiots Day” and promise to participate as a way of letting go of frustration and angst. Warn your neighbors that you’re going to do it, in fact ask them to join you unless they be right wing conservative gun nuts, in which case maybe you should form a group to go to a safe place where you can yell to your heart’s content. Or blast the Internet with an “I Told You So Political Statement.” Be creative! Make up cards, give appropriate gifts -- maybe we should all get together to send George a gift, something he’d appreciate, like the neon lit ten-gallon hat, to flash off and on, off and on, in red, white, and blue.... Enron.... Enron.... Enron..... Enron.... just to let everyone know it’s the Enron Administration and gosh dang it he’s humble and honored to dance with them that brung him and he’s proud to screw the taxpayer in the process! What a guy, that George the Affable. So fun loving.

If you can’t wait until then, go ahead start hollering whenever you feel like it. Consider it practice, leading up to April 1, 2002. And don’t forget to color some eggs and kiss the Easter Bunny for good luck. Remember, though, it could be deafening on April 1, after all 50.6 million Americans who voted for Al Gore and got screwed out of having their vote counted, sooner or later they’re all going to figure it out, then the noise level in this country will go up significantly. Until then expect a blizzard of war rhetoric, followed by more severe bombings of foreign countries, and then the funneling of taxpayer money to the Carlyle Group so that Bush Inc. can grow richer on rebuilding the countries destroyed! Oh, and don’t forget Halliburton Oil, Dick Pacemaker Cheney’s group. They deserve a piece of the action. They’ve got a lot invested in war, and they’re experts at gouging taxpayers, too. No wonder George picked Dick as his running mate. They’re so well mated.

Anthony G. Hendricks is a country poet & satirist, author of the book,
Democracy Bushwhacked, Election 2000, Florida Theater of the Absurd. Available at or 1-888-795-4274.

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