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Fetus Frenzy
February 2, 2002
by Jeffery Commaroto

President Bush has decided it's okay for states to call developing fetuses "unborn children". This achieves two things. First it allows poor people to gain prenatal health care benefits. Which is good, except most of them don't have childcare benefits or benefits for themselves so once the fetus is out; well they are on their own. Second it lets right-to-lifers wage a new war on abortion with their cries of "legally they are people, just unborn people."

If you get down to it this all makes sense. For example when I look at a ball of yarn and some knitting needles I always think "Well see thatís an unmade sweater right there." Same thing with a bunch of fallen trees. I always think "Man that is one sweet unmade house. I can almost smell the fire from the unmade fireplace." Oh it is really hard walking around the kitchen sometimes when you see flour and water and eggs and think about how delicious that unmade cake is. "And it's blueberry two, my favorite!" Actually I don't do any of those things. I would, but it just wouldn't make sense. I don't worry about my un-house or my un-car or the un-burglars that might break into them. See thatís because they don't yet exist and it would just be pretty stupid.

That's the difference between the President and me. When he gave his state of the Union address he called for the largest increase in military spending in twenty years and everyone cheered at what a great thing that was. I kept saying to myself "But wait, Donald Rumsfeld has been going around declaring that the Pentagon cannot account for 25% of it's spending. So there is over 2 trillion dollars that have just disappeared. Why donít we just audit them and get that money and more instead of giving away money we don't have?" It was then that I realized the president and I were two very different people.

Well actually I realized that about a year and a half ago but it just really sunk home. See Republicans do worry about the un-car and the un-burglars that would take it away. Not to stereotype here but most of my Republican friends like to point out what they see as horrible indignations like The Death Tax. No matter how many times I tell them that The Estate Tax (I don't like that Death Euphemism personally) wouldn't really affect them anyway it only hurts rich people who spend most of their lives avoiding taxes, they just cannot see my point. Because to them they are all potential or unborn millionaires. The prevailing model is "Why help a few people now if it will cost me a percentage of what I might have later."

When you think like that you see enemies everywhere and the idea of building a missile defense shield or a massive wall around the country to prevent immigration sound sane. That kind of Paranoia has worked really well for leaders in the past though as well as the people they govern over. I am thinking Richard Nixon and Joseph Stalin kinds of success!

Maybe I just don't get something here. Because I have seen the abortion videos and the pictures and all that and I just don't care. First of all I look at them and say, "These are all late term abortions. I don't particularly have a problem with restricting those unless the pregnancy endangers a womenís life." To be honest I have known several people who have admitted to having abortions and they were all done really early. So I don't know how often late term abortions are really happening. The only people who really seem to go out of their way to tell me, all the time, are people who want to ban abortion. So I don't really trust the numbers there.

Or perhaps I am in a fog on the issue because I am educated and I have looked through microscopes a million times and watched bacteria move in what appears to be a cognitive way. So when I see a blurry flicker on a screen that moves a millimeter I don't race out screaming, "It's alive! It's Alive" as if something that isn't happening in nature all around us is going on or that it has happened over six billion other times in the last hundred and twenty years and will keep on happening for the rest of my lifetime.

Also I just look at most people who are adamantly against abortion and see a group who don't support welfare, affirmative action, universal health care, school lunch programs, education in general, subsidizing inoculations etc. and I just think how can people who care so much about life before it's born give such little regard for life once it is living? Maybe if they spent a little more time fighting for the rights of living beings. Stopping corruption and working to create a society worth living in and where everyone is educated and responsible, we wouldnít have so many abortions. Thatís just me though, I like finding sources of problems and rooting them out. Damn Liberalism!

Finally for me it all comes down to one simple fact. If these people really wanted to stop abortions they would advocate safe sex. Lets face it, nobody is going to stop having sex, especially in a country as repressed as this one. This perverted notion of preaching abstinence out of a book that has more deviant sex and immorality then Hustler magazine page-for-page is ludicrous. These people don't want to stop abortions. If they did, they would use a solution that is 99.9% effective. What they want to do is stop people from living life the way they chose.

I don't have a lot of interest in unborn clumps of cells or non-working religious beliefs. I just know that my un-car needs a new waxing and I can only hope there are a lot of unattached sexy women outside to help me wash it.

Jeffery Commaroto has authored numerous serious and satiric articles and editorials from a liberalist perspective in addition to authoring the free to download ebook
Gadarato, music, plays and running and

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