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Don't Be Paranoid, But...
January 31, 2002
by kentuck

We do not want to be paranoid but, while Bush talks of the evil axis of Iran, Iraq, and North Korea, we have China pointing her nuclear weapons at our cities. He is much too dovish on this war. He is almost naive. Our country is under attack from all quarters. This is no time to relax.

Not only do we have Arab terrorists in every major city of this nation, but we probably have suitcase bombs being smuggled into Washington, DC and Los Angeles CA at this very moment.

There are mad scientists creating more anthrax to be spread throughout our nation. Some are probably experimenting with smallpox. It could wipe out half of our nation. Even if it didn't kill you, it would so scar your face and body that it would be too chilling to look at yourself in the mirror.

We do not want to be paranoid but Osama bin Laden could have gotten a facelift and could pass you on the street and you would not know. We are too lax. The mail is still not safe to take out of the mailbox. There could be bombs planted in your morning newspaper. We need to be more careful.

Also, there is the ever-present danger of drinking poison water. It would be so easy for these terrorists to contaminate our water supply. Not only that, we should be aware of how easy it would be to walk down an aisle in the grocery store, unscrew a cap, and poison your morning orange juice. You simply need to be more alert.

And when you go to sleep tonight, it would be very easy for some "terrorist" to slip a gas into your heating and air conditioning system and you may never wake up. We are only trying to give you the facts. We do not want to scare you. We just want you to continue living your normal life.

However, we are very slow in developing a national space defense that could intercept these missiles that China may be ready to launch at this very moment. We are in dire danger. We need to spend more money on defense immediately.

It may become necessary to attack every nation on earth that harbors these people. We are not safe so long as one of "them" is alive. In fact, we may have to attack ourselves.

It's now obvious that we need a return to a national draft. We will only draft those that are 67 and younger. We will only exempt those that are totally disabled or Republican, just as we have done in the past.





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