Commercial Script: "Energy Crisis"
December 1, 2001
by Tyler Durden

Andy Warhol, Frank Zappa, Abbie Hoffman, Marshal McLuhan, all of the media heroes of the counterculture generation figured this out a long time ago:

The medium is the message, and boys and girls, the media is not the current shills for the administration acting as the "New Propaganda Ministry." It is US getting the word out.

How is this done? The same way these whores sell everything from soup to nuts: advertising.

I humbly submit a draft script I wrote for a political commercial decrying the fake energy crisis and the gas pump gouging of the summer.

The Commercial:

Visual: Scene opens with a DRIVER pulling into a gas station. We do not see the prices, or the logo. The DRIVER, a casually but well dressed man in his mid 30's steps out of the car, opens the gas cap, picks up the nozzle, looks at the price, Shrugs, and places the nozzle in the car, with his back to the pump.

Sound: The DRIVER humming, the pump "dings" as it pumps gas, which continues for the duration.

Visual: As the DRIVER starts pumping gas, a door opens in the pump right behind the DRIVER, and the head and shoulders of a BUSINESS EXECUTIVE stick out of the door in the pump. The BUSINESS EXECUTIVE is obviously expensively dressed and expensively groomed.

Sound: Quiet men's chuckling from the inside of the pump, with shushing sounds as...

Visual: The BUSINESS EXECUTIVE deftly picks the DRIVER'S pocket, removes the money from his wallet, and replaces it in the DRIVER'S pocket. The BUSINESS EXECUTIVE stifles his obvious laughter:

Sound: The BUSINESS EXECUTIVE stifling his laughter, stifled laughter from inside the pump...

Visual: The BUSINESS EXECUTIVE goes back into the pump, the door closes, to the sound of

Sound: Muffled "high five" slaps, "Way to go" from hidden persons inside the pump...

Visual: The DRIVER looks up, looks behind him at the pump with a look of "What was that noise?" on his face, shrugs, returns attention to pumping the gas.

Picture fades to black. Fade up white letters on the black background.

Text with Voiceover: "Highway Robbery doesn't have to happen just on the Highway."

Text with Voiceover: "It can also happen at a Gas Station, Or in a the Voting Booth."

Text with Voiceover: "Vote Democratic. Don't get robbed again."

Fade to Black. Fade out sound of Dinging Gas Pump.


Think it'll work? Could be.

More to come.