Democratic Underground

National Crisis Leadership Quiz
October 2, 2001
by Smokey Sojac

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Imagine for a moment that you are lucky enough to have a father and brother who could make you President of the United States. Do you have what it takes to lead this great nation of ours during a crisis? Take this handy test and see.

1. During a photo-op with elementary school children, you are informed a hijacked plane has crashed into one of the World Trade Center Towers in New York. Do you:

  1. Immediately stop the photo-op, and return to Washington?
  2. Immediately stop the photo-op, and head for New York?
  3. Immediately stop the photo-op, and address the nation?
  4. Continue the photo-op, placidly reading to elementary school children about a hungry goat?

2. A second hijacked plane crashes into the other tower, and you are informed at least two more planes have been hijacked. You are told you must address the nation. What is the best thing to tell them?

  1. "I have scrambled Air Force jets to meet this threat."
  2. "I have called for a joint session of Congress immediately."
  3. "I have declared New York City a Federal Disaster Area."
  4. "I have checked in with the Vice President."

3. The third hijacked plane has crashed into the Pentagon and the fourth has come down in Pennsylvania. Time to spring into action. What is the best thing to do?

  1. Head to New York to provide reassurance and aid.
  2. Head to the Pentagon to provide reassurance and aid.
  3. Head to Washington to huddle with Congress.
  4. Head to Nebraska to hide for ten hours.

4. In the difficult period that follows, what is the most productive use of your staffers' time?

  1. Keeping the Mayor of New York City and the Governor of New York state from phoning you.
  2. Fabricating a story about a supposed threat to Air Force One.
  3. Complaining to a television network about a planned interview with a former President.
  4. All of the above.

5. When is the best time to go to New York City yourself?

  1. As soon as possible.
  2. As soon as the Secret Service says it is safe.
  3. The next day
  4. Two days after the reporters start asking, "Why hasn't he been there?"

6. Which of these is a productive step in the aftermath?

  1. Addressing the United Nations and enlisting that body's help in the effort to round up the terrorists.
  2. Taking Federal action against the post-crash profiteering that was widely reported.
  3. Developing job retraining programs and extended unemployment and health benefits for the hundreds of thousands who have lost their jobs.
  4. None of the above.

Well, if you didnšt answer "d" to all questions, maybe you didn't have what it takes, i.e., family connections. But don't feel bad. Here's a bonus question about our arch-enemy, Osama Bin Laden. Which of these is true about this bastard?

  1. His brother was an investor in George W. Bush's first oil business.
  2. George's dad helped Osama get set up in his current trade.
  3. His brother died mysteriously in Texas.
  4. All of the above.

Once again, the answer is "d."