Manny and Steven, sittin' in a tree... [View all]

[MannyGoldstein]

Please join me in a BIG welcome for Third-Way Steven!!! (Leser, that is)

Great stuff! You had us going for years!

As a someone who's also had to deal with a Fox faux doppleganger for many years, I'd like to trade a few tips with you in the hopes that you'll reciprocate and the four of us can build a lasting relationship.

Here goes:

1. You've done a magnificent job of contrasting your First- and Third-Way personae. Certainly, looking at the contrast between the two, the archetypes of Populism and Neoliberalism, no rational person would ever think that they were the same persona. Never. However, it's important to alternate personas on a regular basis, or else people won't realize it's a gag; they'll just see one persona and think it's for real. And while your Third-Way persona turns out to be Andy Kaufmann-quality humor - really excellent stuff - few if any DU readers had ever seen your First-Way persona until a few days ago, so many of us thought the Third-Way thing was for real. Man, did you have us going!

2. It's good to add a tip-off towards the end of each Third Way performance so that the reader finally gets that you're putting them on. Between Poe's law, and Third-Way Democrats actually advocating insane stuff like total bank deregulation, BS free trade treaties, wars-for-kicks, further increases in military spending, the Heritage Foundation's national health insurance plan, privatizing schools and other stuff, letting banks use the FDIC insurance money to make hyper-risky bets, cutting Social Security, and so forth, it's really, really hard to do this. As far as I can tell, try as you might, you've not been able to go far enough right to make the gag obvious. At this point, maybe something about DWS exorcising the Liberal spirits from Zombie Ronald Reagan? Ah, but since she regularly endorses Republican candidates in Florida, and since even today's Democrats are to the right of Reagan... well good luck with that. Work hard, you'll find something.

All that being said, I welcome you, o kindred spirit! Together, we can ensure that DU's juries will consume as much electric power as the energy generated by FDR spinning in his grave at today's Democratic Party antics.

Huzzah!

Regards,

Both-Ways Mannys

(No, that's not a comment on my sexuality. Not that there'd be anything wrong if it was. I was just born this way, deal with it.)