Funny...CNN LAUNCHES MANHUNT AFTER LESTER HOLT VANISHES FROM DEBATE [View all]

HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. (The Borowitz Report)—CNN launched an urgent manhunt Monday after Lester Holt, the moderator of the first Presidential debate of the 2016 general election, mysteriously vanished two minutes into the contest.

CNN immediately notified law enforcement, who started searching the environs of Hofstra University, all while Clinton and Trump continued barking at each other unabated.

Jeff Zucker, the president of CNN, issued an impassioned plea to Holt to return to the debate venue at Hofstra as soon as possible. “You don’t even have to moderate the debate,” Zucker said. “We just want to know you’re O.K.”