the heartache of saying goodbye for now
the stress of the day to day and the future
i'm so sorry you have entered this era in your life because i know how hard it can be.
i'm glad you have your partner you can lean on.
a couple days have passed since your last post. i'm wondering how everything is going for you and your mom.
i remember telling my mom she was going to be able to see her parents again, and her sister, and my dad. i remember telling my mom that i just wanted to let her know that it was okay to let go (hardest words i've ever spoken). and i remember telling her that even though i didn't know how i was going to do it that i was going to find her again someday. she asked me if i really thought so and i said absolutely. she seemed to be comforted and reassured when i told her we wouldn't be apart forever. (the most private & personal of conversations, the deathbed conversation, and yet i post it online--and i've written about it before in this forum. i guess i share it because speaking to my dad like that when he was dying never occurred to me and, in retrospect, i wish it had.)
there will be a time when your mom, once again, knows your name with absolute certainty without having to be reminded or told. and she will know about everything you did for her. and she will stand straight and strong and put her arms around you as you cry. and maybe, deep down inside, you will know she is near, loving you as she always did, and telling you it's okay--that everything is okay. our crazy bodies wear out and stop but love doesn't die--we take it with us to the other side.
(i feel like i should qualify that last paragraph by saying it is just my belief, so i will. but it's a belief that stems from numerous personal experiences.)
wishing your family much peace and love.
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