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Atheists & Agnostics

Warpy

(111,239 posts)

18. You don't get invited to a funeral, you show up to honor the person

Reply to bravenak (Original post)

Sat Apr 20, 2013, 03:25 PM

Apr 2013

and put up with all the hogwash from the preacher. She was your grandmother, too, and you deserve to be there.

You might not get invited to somebody's house afterward, though. Take a casserole with you in your car and if you are invited back with the family, give it to them. If they snub you, that's their problem and you can take it home and enjoy it yourself, so make it a good one.

You can honor somebody's life without trying to flatter a vengeful god into not sending her to hell. You do that by telling your favorite memories of her.

ETA: The Irish wake was not only to make sure the person wasn't just dead drunk, it was because of a religious superstition that malevolent spirits (later the divvil) would steal the person's soul out of his body if he was left alone at night.

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Highlight:

What do you do when someone dies.( in place of prayer.) [View all] bravenak Apr 2013 OP

I Didn't Realize One Had to Be Invited to Their Grandmother's Funeral dballance Apr 2013 #1

I know that you are right. bravenak Apr 2013 #6

"Slavemasters' Religion" I Love That dballance Apr 2013 #8

Thank you for understanding what I meant by that. bravenak Apr 2013 #12

If you want to go, then go. Jokerman Apr 2013 #11

Tough call. I think your decision might hinge on your snappyturtle Apr 2013 #2

"I am not being invited to Gramma's funeral." CrispyQ Apr 2013 #3

They live in California and I live in Alaska. bravenak Apr 2013 #7

I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. CrispyQ Apr 2013 #10

Thank you. bravenak Apr 2013 #14

"Learning the science behind it helped." CrispyQ Apr 2013 #21

If it is possible, and you want to be there, get there now. Curmudgeoness Apr 2013 #17

There has to be a substitute of some kind libodem Apr 2013 #4

Since when is an invite required for a funeral? cynatnite Apr 2013 #5

Wakes worked for my family. Warren Stupidity Apr 2013 #9

The 20 percent of me that is Irish instinctively knew I should be a wake person. bravenak Apr 2013 #13

That's a true Keith Richards funeral! n/t backscatter712 Apr 2013 #16

I read that wakes started up because some people were so drunk, they'd mistake them for dead. Neoma Apr 2013 #15

You don't get invited to a funeral, you show up to honor the person Warpy Apr 2013 #18

Instead of praying, I don't pray. Iggo Apr 2013 #19

Great thread and welcome Bravenak! JNelson6563 Apr 2013 #20

Thank you. bravenak Apr 2013 #24

When I go to a funeral, which is usually religious, RebelOne Apr 2013 #22

Welcome and good luck. onager Apr 2013 #23

Thank you. bravenak Apr 2013 #25

I've been to a lot of funerals of religious family members. defacto7 Apr 2013 #26

In addition to the thoughts given above... progressoid Apr 2013 #27

Some of this is so inculcated into our culture that there isn't a good option. AtheistCrusader Apr 2013 #28

Do call to let her know that you are thinking of them. LiberalAndProud Apr 2013 #29

Resurrected from my journal...when my brother died in 2011 PassingFair Apr 2013 #30

Now that is awesome! bravenak Apr 2013 #31