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Cancer Support

In reply to the discussion: Things are not great. [View all]

DFW

(56,666 posts)
42. The second time she was diagnosed, she was warned that this form of cancer was known as "the murderer."
Thu Nov 23, 2023, 09:38 AM
Nov 2023

It is rare, only strikes women who are elderly (she was 64 at the time) or very slender. At 5'10" and 130 pounds, she qualified. It is classified as "always fatal," with maybe on in ten thousand surviving it. My wife's diagnosis was by pure accident, just a tiny spot with zero manifestations. The reason it is called the murderer is that it is completely silent. By the time it shows, it is too late.

With my wife, it was three tiny spots on her uterus during a routine exam due to some tiny bleeding. The doctors said they were too tiny to be anything significant, but since she had already had cancer once (breast cancer at age 49), they'd biopsy the three spots just to be absolutely sure. On a woman with no cancer history, they probably wouldn't even have bothered. Two of the spots were indeed nothing, but the third one turned out to be The Murderer.

She was sent immediately to a specialty clinic that fortunately happened to be right here in Düsseldorf. We talked with the surgeon, who told us flat out that the murderer usually always claimed its victim, but he also said that he had NEVER seen it in this early a stage. They did a 5½ hour operation that left her in such pain when she woke up, she made liberal use of a spinal infusion of morphine any time she pressed the button. They only left that in a couple of days to prevent risk of infection. In such operations, they apparently usually take 10-15 biopsies to see if the cancer has spread, and if so, where. In her case, they took 84 biopsies (!!!). It took three days to get the results, but ALL 84 came back negative, something he said he had never seen before. The surgeon called us in, and gave us his opinion. He said usually a round of chemo was standard, but he thought that after the operation and the biopsy results, he thought that this one time, he had really gotten it all. He said it was her/our option, but this one time, he said he thought no chemo would make a difference. She remembered how awful the chemo was after her breast cancer, and said she was willing to take the risk, if he thought it was 50-50 that it would make no difference. That was 7 years ago, and she feels and looks fabulous for someone who is 71 and has had cancer treatment twice. She looks fabulous even for someone who is 71 and has had nothing at all.

So, while everyone is different, and I hope I can put up such a show of fortitude when it's my turn, she is a shining beacon for what can happen if you at least give yourself a chance in your own mind. I hope you have a few similar rabbits in your own hat, even if you have to scrounge around for them. Always keep a few carrots around just in case.

Things are not great. [View all] murielm99 Nov 2023 OP
Please keep us posted, dear murielm99. calimary Nov 2023 #1
Thank you. murielm99 Nov 2023 #2
Healing thoughts Laurelin Nov 2023 #3
I don't know what to say except I feel awful for you. riversedge Nov 2023 #4
Good luck. multigraincracker Nov 2023 #5
Setbacks with cancer treatment sucks, but I see opportunities for treatment based on hlthe2b Nov 2023 #6
Thank you. murielm99 Nov 2023 #8
Sending vibes from Canada. applegrove Nov 2023 #7
Hugs Duncanpup Nov 2023 #9
Cancer is evil. It is such a fight. Hugs and strength to you. BoomaofBandM Nov 2023 #10
Hugs and vibes. Cancer sucks. n/t ms liberty Nov 2023 #11
Sending positive vibes your way, muriel. sheshe2 Nov 2023 #12
Sending you all the good vibes and good wishes I have, muriel. brer cat Nov 2023 #13
Holding you in my heart for healing and strength, muriel. You are not alone. n/t TygrBright Nov 2023 #14
I'm sorry XanaDUer2 Nov 2023 #15
Sending hugs and healing vibes to you. virgdem Nov 2023 #16
Hugs and peaceful vibes to you. onecaliberal Nov 2023 #17
That really is scary. I hope the first doc is correct, but admire (as I would do) seeking other opinions. Evolve Dammit Nov 2023 #18
As a C survivor, I can relate Fritz Walter Nov 2023 #19
Your post is reassuring. murielm99 Nov 2023 #25
Sending you strength & best wishes now. Pls. stay in touch. appalachiablue Nov 2023 #20
Hang in there, sending healing thoughts to you. My BFF is 5 years cancer free last week. Ziggysmom Nov 2023 #21
Warm hugs to you muriel99. I can't imagine the anxiety you're going through. Fla Dem Nov 2023 #22
I'm guessing this is a non small cell cancer Warpy Nov 2023 #23
It is non small cell cancer. murielm99 Nov 2023 #41
(((hugs))) Muriel. Sending you good vibes that you beat this. sueh Nov 2023 #24
Sending good vibes your way...wish I had more!! PortTack Nov 2023 #26
You're worth every feeling, and every effort to still do things. Sending you hugs and heartfelt wishes for your ancianita Nov 2023 #27
All I can say is that cancer sucks. COL Mustard Nov 2023 #28
It does suck. LoisB Nov 2023 #29
Sounds like you're being emotionally healthy BaronChocula Nov 2023 #30
All my very best vibes to you! DarthDem Nov 2023 #31
You will be in my prayers LetMyPeopleVote Nov 2023 #32
Holding you in the light! It does suck, but you are amazing! n/t KatK Nov 2023 #33
Cancer does suck! SouthernDem4ever Nov 2023 #34
Sending healing vibes cate94 Nov 2023 #35
I prayed for you. God bless. Stay strong. Joinfortmill Nov 2023 #36
My dear muriel UpInArms Nov 2023 #37
Cancer DOES suck. All you can do is what you're doing. DFW Nov 2023 #38
I will hang on to what you said about your wife. murielm99 Nov 2023 #40
The second time she was diagnosed, she was warned that this form of cancer was known as "the murderer." DFW Nov 2023 #42
Please do let us know - holding you in my heart Goddessartist Nov 2023 #39
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this... CaptainTruth Nov 2023 #43
Can feel for you BigOleDummy Nov 2023 #44
I did this to myself, too. murielm99 Nov 2023 #45
I'm sorry you are going through this. pandr32 Nov 2023 #46
Thanks for sharing! Hope all goes well-- keep us posted. Paz. RestoreAmerica2020 Nov 2023 #47
Immunotherapy? Taraman Nov 2023 #48
I turned that down, murielm99 Nov 2023 #49
I've had to reject several docs as well, but have an excellent one now. Taraman Nov 2023 #50
That is wonderful. murielm99 Nov 2023 #51
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