I'm The Smart One, She's The Pretty One [View all]

The other day my friend Christopher, who has not met my sister, offered me an analysis of our relationship.

“You know,” he said. “You’re one of those sibling pairs where one of you is the bombastic one and one of you is the dry sardonic one. You’re the bombastic one.”

Okay, so A) no, I was not aware of that apparently standard method of classifying siblings. But also B) Christopher is one of my freelancers, meaning that B1) it’s in his professional interest to not piss me off and B2) he is pretty well aware that being sardonic is my day job. So why does my sister get to be “the sardonic one”? The hell?