[font style="font-family:'Georgia','Baskerville Old Face','Helvetica',fantasy;" size=4][font size =6 color =purple]How to survive Asexual Awareness Week![/font]
[font size=5 color=#5F5F60]A Survival Guide![/font]
Here are some tips for dealing with asexuals safely!
- [font color=purple]Be alert![/font]
See the asexuals before they see you. Asexuals are commonly invisible, so this can be challenging. The National Park Service recommends heat-vision goggles.
- [font color=purple]Avoid hiking at dawn, dusk, or twilight[/font].
Asexuals are most active at these hours on the physical plane. Grey aces and demis are especially active on moonless nights.
- [font color=purple]Make noises to alert asexuals to your presence[/font].
A startled asexual is a particularly likely to attack.
- [font color=purple]If an asexual charges you, stand your ground[/font].
Asexuals commonly break off the charge or veer away. This is called a “bluff charge.” Running will trigger a chase response.
- [font color=purple]Do not attempt to play dead[/font].
This is a useful tactic for escaping bisexuals, not asexuals, who may continue to maul you even if they think you are dead.
- [font color=purple]Distract the asexual by appealing to their interests.[/font]
Asexuals are diverse and their interests vary wildly, but they often tend towards fandoms such as Sherlock and Doctor Who, queer studies and feminism, and the Internet. If all else fails, try memes.
- [font color=purple]Feed the asexual food so that they consider you an ally[/font]
Although asexuals in popular culture are described as only eating cake, they are actually omnivorous and their diets are similar to those of their closest evolutionary relatives, the pansexual
Have a nice week and practice safe habits when hiking outdoors! Please visit the National Park Service’s website for more information.
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