Hey Worry Guy! Interestingly, I think you would never know you relived it multiple times, so even if we did repeat over and over, as far as your concerned it only happened once. So, while you would relive everything technically, you also already passed that point as of now and therefore would not experience it again. In short, you survived, and now can live your life, and if the abuse you suffered was necessary for your existence, so is you surviving and redefining your life now! Which hopefully puts you a bit more at ease.