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In the discussion thread: Let's talk about "Coercive Sex". [View all]

Response to Warren DeMontague (Reply #5)

Sun May 26, 2013, 08:15 PM

8. On EDIT: Read the last line: "He'd gotten her consent after all".

"Long story short: My friend was uninterested in having penetrative sex and told Hal so. (At what point? In general?) He agreed, and he somehow still ended up inside her before (Somehow? That's the real issue isn't it? Heeither forced her or he didn't. Do women have agency over their own decisions even if guys "push"?) she shoved him off and left. (Again, was this a literal "shove off" or a figurative one? You just don't somehow wind up inside someone with the consent thing being unclear. No consent = rape. Consent = not rape.)

“I don’t know why when you say ‘No,’ guys hear ‘Try harder,’” my friend sighed.

“Yeah,” I said. “Me neither.”

We said our goodbyes and hung up. I stared at the wall.

I was angry, I realized -- angry that this fucking scumbag of a man had ignored my friend’s explicit wishes and had pushed her and pushed her until he’d gotten what he wanted (It sounds to me like he kept saying the equivalent of "come on, come on. I really want to or I really love you or I'm really horny". Not classy, as you said, but not coercive really either.) . I bet he was sleeping fine. He’d gotten her consent, after all. " ( Ummm, does that not settle the issue? )

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