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Response to TexasTowelie (Original post)

Fri Jun 21, 2013, 08:19 PM

2. Well, seeing as how the Lege is all up in ... a woman's uterus..., I mean in arms,

why not go all the way with this sanctity of life thing?

Seems to me that looking at only fertilized eggs is a limited view of the whole thing.

So I propose a bill that would require all men capable of ejaculation in Texas to either ensure that every sperm has fertilized an egg, OR that any non-joined sperm be preserved cryonically until such time as it will have its turn to do its duty to churn out zygotes.

Documents will have to kept, and if any are spilled beyond recovery, a Form SS-1 (Spilled Sperm #1 Report), must be filled out within 24 hours by any ejaculated male to describe the circumstances regarding the non-recovery of the sperm, how many sperm were estimated to be in the non-recovered group, and what is the general motility of the recovered sperm so that we can see if they were worth crying over.

If the recovered sperm from the same sample show a superior motility rate, the offender must pay a fine for EACH lost sperm, not to exceed $10,000 each, not a total of more than $50 million per incident. This should make men more careful,

BUT if a second spill and non-recovery occurs, the offender will be deemed in contempt of the statute, and must file a Form SS-2 within 24 hours of the spill. The penalty at this point becomes total removal of all body portions which help to create sperm, since these scofflaws have proven they cannot be trusted with precious, precious, potential life!

Some tweaking could be needed, but I think that's pretty much it, in a, uh, nutshell.

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