Don't ask us to say stuff because you think our accents are cute.
Don't try to imitate our accents. (in this household that will bring on a verbal beatdown)
If someone offers you livermush (liver, cornmeal, headmeat) don't ask what's in it then curl up your nose. Try it, it's good... fried.
Grits (even cheese-grits... NOT cheesy grits) are also good. Most like them with salt and butter. Some with sugar.
Sugar is the South's national condiment. Cooks will put it in anything; including deviled eggs. Be prepared... the gag reflex can catch you unawares. Spitting out food would be considered rude.
Try the Barbeque. We have warring factions over which sauce base is better: vinegar or tomato. Just go with the flow and try not to choose a side.
When people call you "honey" "sweetie" "sugar" or any other term of endearment, they are not being familiar, that's just our way.
Flirting is a national past time. Don't get too strung out about it if somebody seems to be giving your or your partner the hairy-eyeball. Just enjoy the attention.
If you don't drink sugar in your tea, you will have to ask your wait-staff for UN-sweetened tea. Otherwise you will get brown sugar water. You can also ask for half and half
We move slow, we talk slow, we consider, ponder and mull. If you can't move into that stream, your time here will be very frustrating. It took my Spousal Unit a while to adjust after he moved here from Pittsburgh. But he came to see the sense of it and now going home drives him a little nuts because everything is so rushed. Use whatever technique gets you through the long line at the grocery. Then be prepared to have a little small talk with whoever you were waiting for.
Don't EVER ask anybody (especially oldsters) "How you doing today?" Mostly because they will tell you. In great and very graphic TMI terms. This can take anywhere from 5 minutes to half hour of your day. Try to find a more neutral way to express your innate friendliness.
The phrase: "Bless your heart" can mean multiple things: "Oh, sugar, I sympathize." or, alternately, "Man, you are a completely inept dumb-fuck. Do you have a keeper?"
Loud is rude. Cursing in front of children is rude. Taking the Lord's name in vain is rude. Lots of things are rude. Just treat people like they are your maiden aunty. You'll be fine.
You will, invariably, be asked 3 questions (in varying forms and under different circumstances):
Who's your Daddy? / Are you the (insert surname here) from (town next door)? Translation: What is your history, your heritage. Most people can trace their lineage back to their families in the UK or there abouts. Linguists come to the NC Appalachians to study the accents because they are very close to Elizabethan English. History matters.
What Church do you go to? Translation: Do I know people you know? Are you in my socio-economic circle? Should I avoid you like the plague because you are a heathen? (although they won't, but they might get a little cool)
What does your family (or daddy) do? Translation: How much money do you have? Are you land poor (lots of land - no money), genteel poor (educated, well-heeled, but no fortune) or some other variant. This ties into socio-economic and social concerns.
Edited to add: If you are a guy, prepare to be the person who is primarily addressed by EVERYBODY. If you are a woman, prepared to be stared past to the man nearest you. If you are not traveling with a man, politely let the person you are dealing with know...Oh, he's not with me... Then they will address you.
Men will open doors for women. Women, to a certain degree, know and expect this is going to happen and go with it... mostly because it really can fuck up traffic flow if you don't.
Men will also try to help you with heavy items, and generally treat you like their maiden aunty. Just enjoy the attention and try not to ponder too deeply the implications of the underlying sexism. (Trust me, we women are diligently working on ushering the guys into the 21st century, but it takes time) End edit.
People will give you directions based on landmarks that were there 25 years ago. Be aware.
Don't ever say: In California we do X (insert thing you do in CA that we do differently here). Just pretend we are a mysterious and foreign land. Enjoy the culture.
Hope this helps.
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