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red dog 1

(27,771 posts) Thu Nov 9, 2017, 06:31 PM Nov 2017

What's your favorite "walks into a bar" joke? [View all]

A rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder and the bartender says "Where'd you get him?"
The frog answers: "Brooklyn, there's hundreds of 'em."

92 replies

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What's your favorite "walks into a bar" joke? [View all] red dog 1 Nov 2017 OP

A horse walks into a bar muntrv Nov 2017 #1

A horse walks into a bar and orders a Scotch on the rocks, red dog 1 Nov 2017 #19

You made me laugh. Thanks. NT mahatmakanejeeves Nov 2017 #58

A horse walks into a bar. red dog 1 Nov 2017 #24

Lol! Beat me to it!! Docreed2003 Nov 2017 #51

Celine Dion walks into a bar and the bartender says... CurtEastPoint Nov 2017 #2

Good one! red dog 1 Nov 2017 #12

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer and a mop." Ptah Nov 2017 #3

Two guys walk into a bar... Sailor65x1 Nov 2017 #4

This is my favorite but my spin goes sdfernando Nov 2017 #84

(variation) A duck walks into a CVS and says, "Gimme some chapstick..." CurtEastPoint Nov 2017 #5

A mushroom walks into a bar underpants Nov 2017 #6

Two Irishmen walk out of a bar. SwissTony Nov 2017 #7

Yeah, but how long were liberalhistorian Nov 2017 #68

But they usually crawl (or get carried) out lame54 Nov 2017 #73

LOL, liberalhistorian Nov 2017 #86

a string walks into a bar... unblock Nov 2017 #8

So a piece of string.... CurtEastPoint Nov 2017 #9

One day a man walks into a bar and to his amazement.... CurtEastPoint Nov 2017 #10

A pony walks into a bar. LuckyCharms Nov 2017 #11

Nice one! red dog 1 Nov 2017 #37

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar... Gidney N Cloyd Nov 2017 #13

This message was self-deleted by its author PJMcK Nov 2017 #77

A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar connecticut yankee Nov 2017 #14

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. longship Nov 2017 #34

Rene Descartes walks into a bar The Velveteen Ocelot Nov 2017 #15

Speaking of Rene, red dog 1 Nov 2017 #20

A fly walks into a bar cyclonefence Nov 2017 #16

I like that one red dog 1 Nov 2017 #30

How about cyclonefence Nov 2017 #32

See reply # 17, (right below this one) red dog 1 Nov 2017 #48

I kinda think mine (well, Garrison Keillor's) is better cyclonefence Nov 2017 #55

Speaking of Prairie Home Companion, red dog 1 Nov 2017 #56

Another good one. NT mahatmakanejeeves Nov 2017 #59

Excellent cyclonefence Nov 2017 #61

I think so too. red dog 1 Nov 2017 #67

A dog walks into a bar and orders a beer. Botany Nov 2017 #17

Donald Trump Jr., Paul Manafort, and a Russian lawyer walk into a bar and ... Botany Nov 2017 #18

Good one! red dog 1 Nov 2017 #22

A Canadian, a Texan and a tea bagger walk into a bar... red dog 1 Nov 2017 #25

A mobster, a pathological liar, and a sex offender walk into a bar. Bartender says, Leghorn21 Nov 2017 #33

Burn! mahina Nov 2017 #43

A cowboy walks into a bar The Velveteen Ocelot Nov 2017 #21

E-flat walks into a bar, the bartender says: "Sorry,we don't serve minors." red dog 1 Nov 2017 #23

Sorry, but a E flat isn't minor, it's just E flat, the location of a tone (sound) fierywoman Nov 2017 #82

Shows how much I know about music red dog 1 Nov 2017 #89

The vast majority of people who aren't musicians think a flat means minor. ALL fierywoman Nov 2017 #90

How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? red dog 1 Nov 2017 #91

Good one!(sigh. coulda been MUCH worse!) fierywoman Nov 2017 #92

A sandwich walks into a bar. red dog 1 Nov 2017 #26

The past, present and future walk into a bar. red dog 1 Nov 2017 #27

I love that one! nt zanana1 Nov 2017 #87

A termite walks into a bar ... Beakybird Nov 2017 #28

A horse walks into a bar COLGATE4 Nov 2017 #29

Lucy and Ethel walk into a bar, missingthebigdog Nov 2017 #31

A Sikh, an atheist and a trans woman walk into a bar. Mayberry Machiavelli Nov 2017 #35

Excellent! red dog 1 Nov 2017 #38

I was hoping to see this one, my favorite! fierywoman Nov 2017 #83

A mobster, a racist, and a narcissist walk into a bar C_U_L8R Nov 2017 #36

Three blind mice walk into a bar... edbermac Nov 2017 #39

an orange asshole walks into a bar Skittles Nov 2017 #40

NYET! nt Leghorn21 Nov 2017 #45

A drunk stumbles into a bar oswaldactedalone Nov 2017 #41

A giraffe walks in to a bar and says "the highballs are on me!!" Hassin Bin Sober Nov 2017 #42

A dyslexic walks into a bra. Thor_MN Nov 2017 #44

Ok...that was good😅 BoneyardDem Nov 2017 #88

A Magician walks into a bar... A HERETIC I AM Nov 2017 #46

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey CelticCrow Nov 2017 #47

Good one! red dog 1 Nov 2017 #49

That's awful. Thanks. mahatmakanejeeves Nov 2017 #60

I'm modestly savvy when it comes to jokes, but I did not see that one coming Brother Buzz Nov 2017 #62

Nice...and welcome to DU Lochloosa Nov 2017 #64

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar..... Paladin Nov 2017 #50

Ego and Superego walk into a bar, red dog 1 Nov 2017 #52

A lawyer walks into a bar... Kablooie Nov 2017 #53

A guy walks into a bar with... Guilded Lilly Nov 2017 #54

A man walks into a bar with a frog on his head. The bartender says, "Where'd you get that?". Arkansas Granny Nov 2017 #57

An American, an Englishman and an Australian walk in to a bar. tecelote Nov 2017 #63

Didja hear the one about the German soldier walkin through the woods... yagotme Nov 2017 #65

LOL red dog 1 Nov 2017 #66

Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. yagotme Nov 2017 #69

A grasshopper walks into a bar TeamPooka Nov 2017 #70

I heard that joke before, but the grasshopper had a different name red dog 1 Nov 2017 #71

There are many variations TeamPooka Nov 2017 #72

A Baptist, an Imam and an atheist walk into a bar and have a great time LanternWaste Nov 2017 #74

A con man, a Nazi, and a womanizer walk into a bar crazycatlady Nov 2017 #75

Redneck walks into a bar.. Permanut Nov 2017 #76

Roy Moore walks into a bar mercuryblues Nov 2017 #78

3 Brewers walk into a bar zipplewrath Nov 2017 #79

2 Corinthians walk into a bar, the moron quoting his favorite verse Motley13 Nov 2017 #80

An amoeba walks into a bar lapfog_1 Nov 2017 #81

so... Binkie The Clown Nov 2017 #85