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Response to longship (Reply #3)

Wed Aug 21, 2013, 12:45 PM

12. When my kid had seizures, the 7th Day Adventists tried to tell me it was demon possession.

I was speechless, but I knew where they were coming from:

28 And when he was come to the other side into the country of the Gergesenes, there met him two possessed with devils, coming out of the tombs, exceeding fierce, so that no man might pass by that way.

29 And, behold, they cried out, saying, What have we to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God? art thou come hither to torment us before the time?

30 And there was a good way off from them an herd of many swine feeding.

31 So the devils besought him, saying, If thou cast us out, suffer us to go away into the herd of swine.

32 And he said unto them, Go. And when they were come out, they went into the herd of swine: and, behold, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a steep place into the sea, and perished in the waters.

33 And they that kept them fled, and went their ways into the city, and told every thing, and what was befallen to the possessed of the devils.

34 And, behold, the whole city came out to meet Jesus: and when they saw him, they besought him that he would depart out of their coasts.

Matthew 8:28-34 (KJV)

If only Jesus had been visting and there was a herd of swine nearby. We could have been saved a ton of medical bills. Pretty sure they all voted for Perry.

They also informed us that there two kinds of brown people, with their polite version of racial slurs. They explained, off topic of course, with the stream of consciousness thing, that the word for them was 'Mexicans' if good, but 'Mezzikans' if they were bad.

All said with loving kindness, concern and heart warming smiles, honestly wishing all us the best, you know. And did we want to come by their church for the cure?

Just so charming of them to tell us all that getting off the school bus. Ah, life in the country. The stories I could tell. That was one of the nice ones.

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