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[IrishAyes]

31. Please

... don't blame the song when the choir's offkey. Liberal churches were a major moving force behind the early Civil Rights struggle. Dr. King himself was my favorite Baptist next to Vernon Johns. From my own denomination, the Jesuits and Claretians worked for social justice, and I knew several prominent clerics well in that day. We're not all like your idiot neighbor.

When I first moved to this flyspeck little town, my Northside Neighbor was one of the paramilitary alleged 'patriots' who like to play soldier in the woods. He gave me all sorts of hell, partly because I committed the unpardonable sin of outbidding him for this house. His father-in-law happened to be mayor at the time and had appointed the local police chief, so Northside Neighbor called the cops on me every time I blinked. They were at my door almost every week.

When the mayor's office changed hands, so did the police chief's position, and they got tired pretty quick of running out here at his every beck and call. I think a lot of the present holders of those two offices because they know I never bite first. When the rabid wingnut bus driver filed a false police report claiming I'd carried a gun on board and threatened everyone, the police chief took it with a grain of salt and rushed right over almost 2 full days later to ask me about it. Just for the sake of formality! I wrote a rebuttal for the record and publicized the bus gang's lowdown behavior in the local press.

Everybody for miles around knows what lowlifes infest that rural regional minibus, and not just from my own experiences either. I could've withstood the insanity and criminal behavior for the sake of transportation, and did for several years - but what bothered me most was having them scream their imaginary superiority in my face. They called me unrepeatable names constantly, and I eventually referred to them as Hell Spawn. First time they heard that came as quite a shock to them, and they were soooo offended!

BTW, Northside Neighbor eventually gave up and moved to the other side of town in a self righteous huff. But everybody knows who won our little turf war, and it wasn't him. After so many years of hell from these people, when President Obama won re-election I confess that when I saw the bus approaching my house one day I ran out in the street, jumped in the air, and blew them the loudest rasberry I could. Then I ran back in the yard because that damned bus looked like it was picking up speed. Somebody's tires squealed!

That got most of it out of my system, though, and I've behaved fairly well ever since. At worst when I see that bunch shopping in one of the few local stores, I restrain myself to a comparatively ladylike, barely perceptible flutter of chickenwings. If you didn't know any better, you'd think I'd developed a sudden rash on each armpit. But blink and you'd miss it. I'm not one to rub anything in.