Why Women Still Can’t Have It All - By Anne-Marie Slaughter, The Atlantic

[SheilaT]

1. Raising a child is a full time job.

In a way, it doesn't matter exactly who does it. Mom, Dad, teachers, a boarding school, the group of kids he or she hangs out with.

But there's a profound conflict between the desires of adulthood (job, serious career, finishing the graduate degree) and the needs of childhood (nurturing, understanding, supporting)

In the bad old days this wasn't as much of a problem, since women were systematically excluded from the work force, so they stayed home and took care of the children. In upper class families, those tasks were farmed out.

But the reality is, that women are at least as smart and capable as those of the male gender. So if we grant women full equality, what's going to happen to the kids? Who will actually raise them?

Parents who really care about their kids (a significant percent of all parents) recognize this dilemma. In the past, the upper classes simply avoided this problem by having nurses, governesses, tutors, and boarding schools. In today's world, those things aren't quite as readily available, although nannies and daycare minders are reasonably affordable to the upper classes.

There's a genuine discord between the needs of the children and the needs of the adults. There's no good solution, and parents (read mothers) who choose to stay at home for more than twenty minutes after giving birth are punished in the workforce, otherwise known as the real world. Our culture is very much based on the world of work, with the assumption that Real Workers have no obligations outside the job. It's clear at all levels, not just in the managerial class. The corollary to this is that everyone with a job is made to feel guilty if the job is not the number one priority in your life.

The reality is, the next generation is of huge importance, even for those who (for whatever reason) don't reproduce, because if there's not a next generation, we'll all die an awful death.

I'm not entirely sure what the answer is, other than the world of work must eventually adjust, and recognize that children are a necessary part of life. Things need to be structured to accommodate various choices: children, no children, kids early, kids later, sick parents, and so on. Unfortunately, the world we're currently in, the world of the corporation does not acknowledge any of this.