Dennis Tito To Announce Private Human Mars Mission

[struggle4progress]

9. It ain't gonna happen in the next five years.

If you want to experience the trip, grab four friends and figure out how to live with them in a space the size of a minivan for a year and a half. For extra realism, insulate the bus really well, add some heaters, and bury it a few feet under the ice in antarctica, cuz you're gonna see hardly anything most of the time, and you're gonna be stuck in close quarters with a few people hoping like crazy nothing goes wrong

Phoning home or mission control won't be much fun either: at best, you're gonna have about a nine minute lag between the time you say anything and the time you get a response:

Hi, honey! How are you?
**nine-minute-gap**
OK, I guess! (*bzzt!! spfzzz!!*) in jail and (*spft!! bpzzz!!*) but (*bzzl!! bpfft!!*) think?

or

Yo! mission control! The fuckin cabin lights started smoking and then the ventilation system went out
**nine-minute-gap**
Could you repeat that?