Uncertainty for families as China ends foreign adoptions

[Dem2theMax]

21. There are people who give birth who should never do so.

I agree with that. However, children should be kept in their family. If not their immediate family, then their extended family.

Adoption should only be used as the very last resort.

All anyone had to do in my birth mother's case was to suggest that she seek out a lawyer. Instead, a predatory OBGYN told her that he had the perfect solution for her. She could give up her child to one of his other patients who couldn't have one. She was backed into a corner, by her abusive ex-husband, (not my birth father,) and this doctor.

She was terrified, and in that moment, she agreed to give me up. And then she regretted it every day of her life. As did I.

It took her a few years to get the abusive ex-husband totally out of her life, and the lives of my half siblings. If only someone had suggested that she let one of her brothers or sisters raise me until she could bring me safely back into the family.

The goal should always be to keep the child with their immediate, or extended family. If people truly cared about children, they would help our birth mothers to get through addiction, to get away from an abusive partner, whatever it takes to keep the family unit together. An extended family is better than never being a part of your family at all.

There are better ways to do this for us adoptees. But the adoption industry will do whatever it can to make sure that adoption is NEVER the last resort.

No 6-year-old child should ever be found sitting on a porch, crying and begging out loud for their real mother to come and get them and take them home. That was me. I'm 68 years old. If you think it doesn't hurt me as bad right now as it did when I was 6 years old, you're wrong.