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tclambert

(11,085 posts)

109. A god with terrible self-esteem issues.

Sun Dec 2, 2012, 08:37 PM

Dec 2012

Powerful, sure, but needs people to worship him, praise him, pray to him to fix the things he got wrong, and really, really sensitive to what puny, stupid ape people think of him and the world he runs? What a wuss. My God could kick his ass.

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Highlight:

Bryan Fischer: ‘Enormously insensitive’ to hurt God’s feelings by not using oil [View all] Judi Lynn Nov 2012 OP

Uh...yeah.....Does he feel the same way about Marijuana? W T F Nov 2012 #1

great point Enrique Nov 2012 #11

lol, thanks wordpix Dec 2012 #57

I always figured UBCchuck Dec 2012 #65

LOL! director of issues analysis = doctor of spin..... pepperbear Dec 2012 #111

"Teh Stoopid" burns bright in that one, grasshopper. ChairmanAgnostic Nov 2012 #2

And they wonder why SCVDem Nov 2012 #3

These people have done more damage to Christianity than any atheist has ever done. olegramps Dec 2012 #63

Very true SCVDem Dec 2012 #73

I have often wondered quakerboy Dec 2012 #103

Should intelligent people turn from marriage because divorce exists? elias7 Dec 2012 #71

Oh, that's a good one! nt Ilsa Dec 2012 #101

While he ignores the destruction of Earth. One hundred is the average IQ. That means half of the truthisfreedom Nov 2012 #4

What a fucking idiot! longship Nov 2012 #5

One Would Think, Ma'am, An Omnipotenet Lord Of the Universe Could Handle It.... The Magistrate Nov 2012 #6

Exactly! kimmylavin Nov 2012 #9

Because man created God in his own image. Mnemosyne Nov 2012 #25

So it would seem. Insiders seem to know the Almighty just gets the Almighty's nose out of joint Judi Lynn Nov 2012 #16

I hear that God is fighting a problem with depression BlueStreak Nov 2012 #29

Or would already know that said insult was going to happen. Dash87 Dec 2012 #60

One would have thought so, Sir; but when one c onsiders that the Guy is always demanding BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2012 #94

My goodness what a puny little weak God, who can be hurt/disappointed by little old me!!! patrice Nov 2012 #7

....................And no more maturbation,guys! Rain Mcloud Nov 2012 #8

It is OK to masturbate if you are driving a Hummer BlueStreak Nov 2012 #30

Guys who drive Hummers don't need to masturbate DollarBillHines Nov 2012 #33

Hummers come equipped.......... Rain Mcloud Nov 2012 #38

Apparently, he has the same outlook on lead and mercury. -nt Liberal Veteran Nov 2012 #10

OMG, they are going off the deep end..... Swede Atlanta Nov 2012 #12

he should read Isaiah 55:8-9 gejohnston Nov 2012 #13

+1 hrmjustin Nov 2012 #19

Blasphemer!!!!! JoePhilly Nov 2012 #24

Heh. I immediately was thinking the obvious: Sun and Wind, NCarolinawoman Nov 2012 #42

Whatever would God do if Bryan Fischer weren't there to protect him? tanyev Nov 2012 #14

The Great Goon in the Sky is very unhappy. caseymoz Nov 2012 #15

And this folks is why it is never a good idea to eat lead paint chips. Dakota Flint Nov 2012 #17

Or the shiny rolly balls from the broken glass thermometer Dont call me Shirley Nov 2012 #18

So sad, isn't it? Judi Lynn Nov 2012 #28

Wait...that photo....Jesus was Glenn Campbell??? Squinch Dec 2012 #51

God, please make this man shut up. /nt dorkulon Nov 2012 #20

This repuke shill really knows what he's talking about! freshwest Nov 2012 #21

This guy is the enemy. He's part of the problem, certainly not the solution. johnnyrocket Nov 2012 #22

Somebody should throw 1 Corinthians 13:11 at him starroute Nov 2012 #23

+1 NEOBuckeye Dec 2012 #96

I guess you really can't make this shit up..... perhaps he would like to explain to God what 2on2u Nov 2012 #26

God's reply:"I'm OK with your not using oil, it's those chastity pledges that really cheese me off." Squinch Nov 2012 #27

Uhmmm ... 1StrongBlackMan Nov 2012 #31

Yep tama Dec 2012 #113

Bat Shit! L0oniX Nov 2012 #32

And would not using Atomic bombs with 'God Given' Uranium revmclaren Nov 2012 #34

Welcome to DU! hrmjustin Nov 2012 #35

Yes, if we didn't use oil Turbineguy Nov 2012 #36

A lesser god would pitch a fit! We are too unworthy to even grovel begging for mercy! n/t Judi Lynn Dec 2012 #83

Evidently, not using one's brain isn't insulting to God. nt NoGOPZone Nov 2012 #37

This guy insults God's intelligence as well as ours! LongTomH Nov 2012 #39

What's it like to be paid to just sit back and spew moronic nonsense and hate? Locut0s Nov 2012 #40

Bitch please. I'll do u 1 better: How do you think God feels about fundamentalists shunning Science? DRoseDARs Nov 2012 #41

You mean this is not the Onion? Chemisse Nov 2012 #43

Bryan Fischer and his God can both go fuck themselves hatrack Nov 2012 #44

And just think - all that oil, coal and natural gas was created in 6,000 years! Hestia Nov 2012 #45

I'm not GOING to think of that! I'm not a scientist, man! Squinch Dec 2012 #53

I'll think about it, but I'm not making any guarantees! AAO Nov 2012 #46

This man belongs in.... ReRe Nov 2012 #47

And yet, what he says gets broadcast out through our media instead. gtar100 Dec 2012 #70

It is very effin' weird... ReRe Dec 2012 #78

God gave us the sun and wind, too. Mz Pip Dec 2012 #48

I didn't think the Big G was so sensitive! JackRiddler Dec 2012 #49

I know! Who knew deities could be such weenies! Squinch Dec 2012 #54

in my humble opinion it`s not god`s planet madrchsod Dec 2012 #50

^^^ this^^^ TDale313 Dec 2012 #52

The stupid is just not going to stop is it??? lunasun Dec 2012 #55

Poe Kalidurga Dec 2012 #56

"The wicked and lazy master"---who's that? Rush? Bush? Cheney? wordpix Dec 2012 #58

Does he mean that 6.000 year old oil? Zambero Dec 2012 #59

Bryan Fischer is what you'd get... Initech Dec 2012 #61

Throw Ralph Reed into this unsavory mix Zambero Dec 2012 #64

And who's that "god wants you to be rich" TV preacher? Add him. Initech Dec 2012 #76

And so it came to pass that God said drill here, drill there, drill every where... Historic NY Dec 2012 #62

It's also enormously insensitive not to drink God's own hemlock. Bette Noir Dec 2012 #66

I wish I could convey the sound... a la izquierda Dec 2012 #67

I'm beginning to think that fundamentalists are God's trolls ThoughtCriminal Dec 2012 #68

ROFLMAO Solly Mack Dec 2012 #69

The man is a dangerous loon Botany Dec 2012 #72

What (nt) Posteritatis Dec 2012 #74

Whatever you say you crazy loon! ellie Dec 2012 #75

What these idiots never FlaGranny Dec 2012 #77

This is why we should all use meth. ZombieHorde Dec 2012 #79

This god fellow... awoke_in_2003 Dec 2012 #80

This is some weird shit thinking. yellowcanine Dec 2012 #81

Toss away like a used tissue! cynzke Dec 2012 #82

How about hurting God's feelings okasha Dec 2012 #84

The same is true of renewable power daleo Dec 2012 #85

Merrily We Roll Along ..... bucolic_frolic Dec 2012 #86

I'm with Hatrack on this one.. Permanut Dec 2012 #87

uh, what? blackspade Dec 2012 #88

Holy shit, it's like he had his mental output replaced by random combinations of Onion headlines. enki23 Dec 2012 #89

Fuck the AFA... and-justice-for-all Dec 2012 #90

If God made the earth only 6000 years ago undeterred Dec 2012 #91

If G*d had wanted us to have that oil why did he make it so damn hard to extract??????? marble falls Dec 2012 #92

What if God Drove a HumVee? triplepoint Dec 2012 #93

Enjoyed so much the chance to see the 1st two all over again, & the last one for the first time. Judi Lynn Dec 2012 #112

This fool doesn't have the sense that God gave a gopher n/t NEOBuckeye Dec 2012 #95

Oh FFS!! I can't stand these nutters anymore!!! hue Dec 2012 #97

It burns! Beartracks Dec 2012 #98

Fucking loon... Aviation Pro Dec 2012 #99

To those of us who have a functioning brain... luv_mykatz Dec 2012 #100

Then wouldn't that hold true for wind, sun... 20score Dec 2012 #102

I also prefer to take my gifts and burn them in front of the giver quakerboy Dec 2012 #104

He reminds me of my dog. I go get him a really nice squeaky toy jtuck004 Dec 2012 #105

Please tell me this is from The Onion CanonRay Dec 2012 #106

No wonder these freaks support the Boy Scouts, the Catholic Molesters SoapBox Dec 2012 #107

That makes God sound like an insecure adolescent LeftishBrit Dec 2012 #108

A god with terrible self-esteem issues. tclambert Dec 2012 #109

And to think that my parents got offended when Crunchy Frog Dec 2012 #110

The Great Turtle has a thick skin JustABozoOnThisBus Dec 2012 #114

God buried fossil fuels as a gift? But I thought Satan buried dinosaur bones as a trick.(nt) ehrnst Dec 2012 #115