Nonfarm payroll employment falls by 701,000 in March; unemployment rate rises to 4.4%

[Igel]

28. Imagine the poor workers who had to produce these reports.

"Yeah, I know that my data's been washed away by a tsunami that struck right after I stopped collecting. And who could have predicted that--well, damn near everybody.

"Still, gotta process the numbers, do the analysis, write the report, knowing that the response will be dismissiveness at best and open ridicule at ... average. And that's just those on the friends and family plan.

"Nobody wants this, nobody cares about this, and it's a complete and total waste of time.

"Hey, everybody, here's my shitty report! Yeah, it's so meaningless that playing with my bellybutton lint would provide more social utility. Just ... be social and keep your distance.

"Damn. Bars are closed."