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moriah

(8,311 posts)
70. Yep. And in many industries management is still male-dominated.
Mon Jan 15, 2018, 01:32 PM
Jan 2018

I admit I was glad he took the time to actually ask me if he'd ever treated me badly, made me feel inferior, etc.

He hadn't, but he was probably remembering that I woke him up in the middle of the night a lot. (I worked the night shift support desk, he was a daytime onsite engineer with oncall weeks, and if a server turned into a swerver in the middle of the night.... well, it's never pleasant). And, knowing he took time to wake up, I would call him and just say "We've got a down server at the ?DC. Can you call back in a few with your ETA?" vs bombard him with details. And that I always brewed a fresh pot of coffee if a CE I called was coming in (our office was also the parts depot).

(Edit to add on chicks and coffee: I didn't take it upon myself to give that same treatment to every CE when someone else "owned" the call -- though by the time I had seniority, I often was the person "owning" those types of calls, especially if they were important to the client.

And also by that level of seniority and being the only woman, I had many kind male colleagues who took it upon themselves to refresh my coffee while I was working a call, or who would realize I didn't have time to brew for an incoming CE and do it for me, knowing it was my routine. So we were actually pretty egalitarian on coffee -- especially on the rule that the person who takes the second-to-last cup should offer the dregs to anyone who needs the concentrated burned caffeine from the Bunn, then rinse and start a new pot. Coffee was sacred.)

I did that because it was just kind -- not because I was a chick. And he thanked me for being thoughtful frequently, as did most of the others (except the Mormon, but I didn't bother with a fresh pot knowing he didn't indulge). We've remained friends since I left the company many years ago because he does have a good heart, and despite differing political views could discuss them politely vs getting into name-calling.

Yes, when he was voicing concerns about being falsely accused, the way he was rationalizing the misogyny was itself misogynistic -- yet in the "snowflake" way -- he said he was afraid a woman might feel intimidated if she was alone with a male supervisor without him meaning to.

He did at least say my suggestion to, if he was really that paranoid, keep the office door open with all of his subordinates unless they requested privacy, and keep it policy, would probably make him feel more comfortable. And he said he hadn't thought about what I said about that his very reticence to "upset" her he might be both damaging her opportunities for networking and advancement, and possibly be the very thing that she could lodge a *legitimate* complaint about, but saw my point after I pointed out how his dinners with colleagues had helped networking, and some were just him and a single higher-up.

Condi knows how to stay a member at Augusta National underpants Jan 2018 #1
Post removed Post removed Jan 2018 #2
When you call her the c word you call all women that word. DLevine Jan 2018 #3
Thank you... you beat me to it and I could not reply to a removed post. InAbLuEsTaTe Jan 2018 #4
Great reply to the bullshit you were replying to. Squinch Jan 2018 #5
While "C" may be harsh Liberalagogo Jan 2018 #15
Missing the attention are we, Condi? Ken Burch Jan 2018 #6
She is complicent in war crimes. irisblue Jan 2018 #7
Bush lies pusher says what? 50 Shades Of Blue Jan 2018 #8
Time to get this out.. 47of74 Jan 2018 #9
Condi, Newt, Alan Dershowitz ProudLib72 Jan 2018 #10
That sounds pretty messed up, Rice. Stardust1 Jan 2018 #11
+1 2naSalit Jan 2018 #22
I think she may be talking about some of the allegations that are iffy. Honeycombe8 Jan 2018 #12
+1 Lucinda Jan 2018 #21
I agree. Raine1967 Jan 2018 #24
+1 n/t jaysunb Jan 2018 #36
Yep. nt Still Blue in PDX Jan 2018 #50
I agree with what you say PatSeg Jan 2018 #52
+1. nt Honeycombe8 Jan 2018 #65
"Let's turn Iraqis into ash instead". Eom GusBob Jan 2018 #13
Condi Liberalagogo Jan 2018 #14
yes Skittles Jan 2018 #16
Yes. What strength of womanhood she displayed! tomp Jan 2018 #42
What we need is more righteous PEOPLE in politics Maeve Jan 2018 #47
agreed. nt tomp Jan 2018 #59
Or ignore warnings about an attack on the US by bin Laden.... llmart Jan 2018 #62
They also go shopping for expensive designer shoes while GoCubsGo Jan 2018 #63
Maybe call out the harassment, but don't worry about men christx30 Jan 2018 #17
She should be in jail n/t hibbing Jan 2018 #18
I agree with her on this point, depending on where the line is drawn. Chemisse Jan 2018 #19
+1 Raine1967 Jan 2018 #25
No, just no Phoenix61 Jan 2018 #31
Did I say it was okay to do that? Of course I didn't. Chemisse Jan 2018 #32
No, you didn't Phoenix61 Jan 2018 #37
It depends on the kiss. thesquanderer Jan 2018 #45
Totally agree. nt Still Blue in PDX Jan 2018 #51
Women should not have to curse and get physically aggressive at work or any where else Irish_Dem Jan 2018 #55
Yes they do need to exert self-control. Chemisse Jan 2018 #56
If you start cursing or getting aggressive, the guy could pull a gun, or get violent in response. Irish_Dem Jan 2018 #57
I think immediate and strong responses to minor offenses, Chemisse Jan 2018 #60
Is it being timid or being smart? I don't have the answer. Irish_Dem Jan 2018 #64
if Wonder Woman is a snowflake then count me in! samnsara Jan 2018 #20
Oh, go back to sleep, Condi rocktivity Jan 2018 #23
Honest question: Raine1967 Jan 2018 #26
Honest answer: Sure she has that right. EVERYBODY does. rocktivity Jan 2018 #29
Everybody has the right to speak. shanny Jan 2018 #33
agreed. known liar and facilitator of war crimes. nt. tomp Jan 2018 #43
i only came here to comment barbtries Jan 2018 #27
Young women around me say much the same thing! radhika Jan 2018 #28
+1 Chemisse Jan 2018 #30
Yes! nt Raine Jan 2018 #41
"Snowflakes"?! Couldnt she say what she has to say without using an inflammatory, RW put-down word Kashkakat v.2.0 Jan 2018 #34
every accusation should be heard and investigated. tomp Jan 2018 #44
yep, I would agree with that but my point was that perhaps it would be Kashkakat v.2.0 Jan 2018 #61
War Criminal shadowmayor Jan 2018 #35
she shares responsibility for over a million deaths yurbud Jan 2018 #38
Who? Cryptoad Jan 2018 #39
Stick with football, Condi Kristofer Bry Jan 2018 #40
I agree with some of what Condi said. rainlillie Jan 2018 #46
That is as good as admitting they are still dominant treestar Jan 2018 #48
I doubt it would be done with the intent to punish. Chemisse Jan 2018 #58
They could consider just not harassing treestar Jan 2018 #66
Or by not being alone with us to avoid accusations. moriah Jan 2018 #68
Right, the presumption they are going to be falsely accused treestar Jan 2018 #69
Yep. And in many industries management is still male-dominated. moriah Jan 2018 #70
Rice, you're not relevant. Go away. paleotn Jan 2018 #49
Don't you have a warning of a hostile attack to ignore, Condi? Paladin Jan 2018 #53
Your words carry NO weight. Not in my household. You fully Ferrets are Cool Jan 2018 #54
''Well, maybe it's just better not to have women around.' I've heard a little bit of that." moriah Jan 2018 #67
Disagree.Let's turn women into snowflakes. So many snowflakes that the resulting blizzard onenote Jan 2018 #71
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