Response to niyad (Original post)
Mon Dec 28, 2015, 11:36 AM
lapislzi (5,749 posts)
13. We have tried.

The abuser is not permitted to enter the building, but it doesn't stop him from loitering around outside. If I ever see him I give him the evil eye. He knows I'm onto him and he avoids making eye contact with me. He often keeps her waiting around for hours after work for her ride home. She won't accept a ride from anyone here because there would be...repercussions.
Unfortunately, even our company's loosely-enforced "no cell phone" policy is not enough to keep him from verbally abusing her at work. He calls the main line and harasses her endlessly if he gets put through.
Other co-workers and I who know the situation have tried giving her a Trac Fone for emergencies, but she won't take it. She's afraid he'll find it and hurt her. We've left shelter literature on her desk. I hope she's read it. We've suggested an escape kit that she can keep here if she needs to. Having worked in shelters, I know where there are ones close by.
Over-intervening can be really dangerous for her, so we have to be as discreet as we can. My co-workers and I worry about her every single day. So far she has managed to keep herself alive and coming to work, which is pretty damned amazing considering what a brute he appears to be.
Every so often I'll just pat her on the shoulder and remind her that if she wants to take steps, help is available. She is the best judge of her own situation, but it's so hard to stand by and watch.
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