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In reply to the discussion: Sad and Confused...My friend shot his mother on Mother's Day [View all]MADem
(135,425 posts)109. You did the right thing, and you know it in your heart. I agree, though, that guilt can make
smart people make bad choices. The only thing you can do to mitigate the guilt is to visit often, and make the time you spend together as memorable as possible.
Had you abandoned your career, you would feel guilt about the resentment you harbored, and the fact that you gave up employment that made your family''s life better. The old "rob Peter to pay Paul" caveat applies--no matter what you'd have done, you'd feel bad about it. It is a no-win situation unless you win the lottery and can afford a full time staff to care for the family member at home in comfort.
The decision you made, though, was the smart one and the best one, given the circumstances.
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So sad and, you're right, this shouldn't happen in a wealthy country like this...
polichick
May 2012
#2
We do have euthanasia - it's called "hospice." At the least at-home version...
DesertDiamond
May 2012
#60
Oh, stop it. Hospice does not put people on morphine drips to cause their deaths!
sinkingfeeling
May 2012
#69
I misread it too. I believe he has been a friend of the OP for 15 years.
ScreamingMeemie
May 2012
#10
It happens in an uncivilized, immoral country, run by greedy zealots
ProfessionalLeftist
May 2012
#20
Oh my God, I am so sorry for your friend and his family. There was noone to help this poor man?
Ecumenist
May 2012
#26
Why don't people remember that they have to put on their own oxygen mask first?
WillowTree
May 2012
#27
After taking care of both my elderly parents (dad with Alzheimer's) until their deaths,
enough
May 2012
#29
It's exactly that inability to take action that prevents the dementia sufferer from doing what
enough
May 2012
#33
Here's how I view it--it's not a question of total time in the saddle, it's a question of Quality
MADem
May 2012
#63
I know what you mean. Pity someone didn't take him aside and give him the old pep talk.
MADem
May 2012
#95
When your "promise" puts the life of your loved one and the person providing care in danger, it's
MADem
May 2012
#94
You were insinuating that the man put his own interest in front of his mother's.
peace13
May 2012
#102
I was not insinuating anything, the word is "callous" and I wasn't that either, and you are
MADem
May 2012
#106
You did the right thing, and you know it in your heart. I agree, though, that guilt can make
MADem
May 2012
#109
Sorry this happened. I don't know how your friend stood it as long as he did. nt
raccoon
May 2012
#64