General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Polymarriage deserves a defense [View all]Chan790
(20,176 posts)Much like it is with drug laws. It's the illegality that drives the worst of behaviors and allows them to remain undocumented and unremedied. Prohibition is the driver of the empowerment of the Warren Jeffs of the world...much like gang-related drug-related violent-crime drops when drugs are easily and legally obtainable. When you're involved in something scandalous and/or illegal, you're less likely to be able to call the police when it leads to your exploitation and less likely to be able to find help to extricate yourself from that exploitation.
There is a larger error here though that needs to be noted as it's the source of a lot of issues in an honest discussion of this topic. Trust me as a poly person when I tell you that the number of poly people in the US vastly dwarfs the number of members of the FLDS. We're here but we're in the closet--we're your friends, your neighbors, your teachers and your accountants, we're silent because a lot of people are judgmental of our relationships; some of us (not a majority of us, admittedly) someday would like to marry the people we love, perhaps. I can't see me married but it would be nice to know that I could.
A smaller error too...outside of religious cults that practice polygamous marriage, committed closed polygyny (1M, >1F) is not substantially more common than committed closed polyandry (1F, >1M)...and open-relationships vastly outnumber both. People keep talking about harems and male-displacement when neither should be a substantial actual concern for anybody based in reality. It's about as problematic (and offset) as concern that some women are going to marry up all the young men and displace young women out of the marriage market.