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stevenleser

(32,886 posts)
173. Do you consider 'non-custodial parents' part of those single parent families?
Tue May 8, 2012, 02:31 PM
May 2012

I'll save you the effort, it is a trick question.

You don't consider them part of that group because for all intents and purposes, the state has taken away anything that resembles parenthood from them. But unlike a married couple addicted to crack who has had the child taken away, that non-custodial parent still has to pay for the child. The state and custodial parent has it both ways, but yet you dont consider that person a part of a single parent family that involves the child.

They are no longer a parent, but yet, for money purposes, and only for money purposes, you and the state consider that they are.

I May be Going to Debtor's Prison [View all] The Doctor. May 2012 OP
K&R 99Forever May 2012 #1
Thanks. The Doctor. May 2012 #3
I certainly hope things get better for you... 99Forever May 2012 #25
what is going to happen when the jails are run over with people like this? Where are they going southernyankeebelle May 2012 #44
It's more complicated than that. randome May 2012 #46
What can you do if that is all that is out there. Lets face it if your in your 40s, 50s,60s you southernyankeebelle May 2012 #47
HA! Tell us, please...how many? ret5hd May 2012 #170
I bet like 98% would love living in squalor just to get back at their x wives, he chose to be poor Dragonfli May 2012 #191
Some percentage would, for a time treestar May 2012 #308
There is a meaness afoot in the land. annabanana May 2012 #2
"Why should I pay for this and that" sufrommich May 2012 #14
What's with making shit up? The Doctor. May 2012 #22
Read this: sufrommich May 2012 #30
I would love to hear her side of this. Pithlet May 2012 #33
Yep, me too. nt sufrommich May 2012 #34
It's common on DU to jump on a bandwagon hearing only one side treestar May 2012 #81
I'm always guilty of that -- thanks for the reminder. And for those who are cautioning against gateley May 2012 #171
That glaring omission???? See post #116. nt msanthrope May 2012 #117
Not surprised in the least. n/t Pithlet May 2012 #121
Nope---completely unsurprising. nt msanthrope May 2012 #122
As I was saying. lapislzi May 2012 #139
$600 a month is all he's paying? randome May 2012 #35
male median income 2010 = $32K. $600 = 1/4. HiPointDem May 2012 #73
1/4? That's not nearly enough. It should be 2/3 Zalatix May 2012 #90
Exactly, plus like it or not, it's not the other guy's responsibility. Lionessa May 2012 #59
Wow, you are really twisted. The Doctor. May 2012 #64
No, I'm not "twisted" nor do I sufrommich May 2012 #111
Yeah, he has to pay the court ordered amount treestar May 2012 #80
You seem terribly passive aggressive yourself. n/t iamthebandfanman May 2012 #135
This article raises more questions than it answers lapislzi May 2012 #138
What 'opportunities to act in his own defense' do you mean? The Doctor. May 2012 #148
He claims to have proof of his wife's perjury lapislzi May 2012 #283
So you didn't read it. The Doctor. May 2012 #292
I read it. Every tedious, self-pitying word. lapislzi May 2012 #296
Bullshit. If you had, you wouldn't have posted what you did. The Doctor. May 2012 #314
I'm sorry, but I cannot continue this discussion with you. lapislzi May 2012 #316
it's almost a "cool story bro" type of story, don't know what to believe on this one. dionysus May 2012 #280
Du rec. Nt xchrom May 2012 #4
Y'know this is nothing more really than "my ex-wife and life screwed me" rant. Lionessa May 2012 #5
Exactly. Pithlet May 2012 #6
you think your opinion on this might in any way be jaded? snooper2 May 2012 #9
Yes the facts and reality definitely jade me. I don't see that as an issue. Lionessa May 2012 #19
Yet you are so willing to invent extraneous details not in evidence, The Doctor. May 2012 #156
What are you talking about? Pithlet May 2012 #158
It is based on the information presented therein, his own presentation Lionessa May 2012 #172
You are of course correct. mysuzuki2 May 2012 #11
Should a man help pay for his children? This has sufrommich May 2012 #13
Sure. The Doctor. May 2012 #18
Right. But that wasn't up to him to decide that. Pithlet May 2012 #24
Yeesh you can't start a new business if you have child support payments? dkf May 2012 #36
Not if it means you can't meet your child support obligation. Pithlet May 2012 #37
At what level? n2doc May 2012 #26
I'm a wife and mother, and here's why I can't agree with you. kag May 2012 #225
Oh, barf. n/t Pithlet May 2012 #227
Thank you. kag May 2012 #307
I've heard that sophomoric crap before. The Doctor. May 2012 #15
I did not say it wasn't true, I said it wasn't the whole truth, and lacks any real owning of his Lionessa May 2012 #23
You said the story was unbelievable Major Nikon May 2012 #52
I guess when a person hears nearly this exact same rant from Lionessa May 2012 #57
I know plenty of divorced people Major Nikon May 2012 #61
You do know what jaded means right? snooper2 May 2012 #123
Yes, but as mentioned above, if it's facts and reality of Lionessa May 2012 #142
"I realize you men all think women are the drama queens" snooper2 May 2012 #147
He reminds me of a man I know with bipolar disease, who flits from one job to another pnwmom May 2012 #41
I was thinking the same thing dana_b May 2012 #219
Wow -- On the Road May 2012 #98
One line summary - In the US you may be sent to jail if you can't pay your child support. n/t PoliticAverse May 2012 #7
Yep... The Doctor. May 2012 #17
if you can't, you go back to court. Like not paying your taxes, it doesn't just "go away". crazyjoe May 2012 #39
True. HappyMe May 2012 #164
When the revolution happens it'll start in places like this. Initech May 2012 #8
This message was self-deleted by its author gratuitous May 2012 #10
He's not going to "debtor's prison",he's going sufrommich May 2012 #12
Right, he couldn't pay a debt obligation, so he's going to jail. The Doctor. May 2012 #16
Only by those who want to minimize what the obligation is for. Pithlet May 2012 #20
No it is contempt of court treestar May 2012 #75
Right, not having enough money = 'contempt of court'. The Doctor. May 2012 #100
The law is that earning capacity is considered treestar May 2012 #107
Right, because he's 'supposed' to make more, he should be making more. The Doctor. May 2012 #112
It depends on the case treestar May 2012 #253
Collective punishment is wrong. And laws should not be written based on what 'some people did' sabrina 1 May 2012 #131
What is better for children is not being raised in struggling single parent households Pithlet May 2012 #134
And having a parent thrown in jail benefits children, in what way? For most children it is sabrina 1 May 2012 #244
It benefits them because the system needs some level of teeth. Pithlet May 2012 #247
Really? If someone simply cannot pay, sending them to jail will solve that? How? sabrina 1 May 2012 #257
I get that jail isn't the solution for everything. I'm not a law and order type. Pithlet May 2012 #260
"Most fathers who are not paying child support are not paying because they CAN'T" WinniSkipper May 2012 #262
Feel free, not sure why it should be a problem. I have been to fathers groups with friends who sabrina 1 May 2012 #268
Until you can put some stats behind your statement WinniSkipper May 2012 #277
I asked for stats and didn't get them yet. sabrina 1 May 2012 #285
Well you could try to find some WinniSkipper May 2012 #289
No, I did not initiate this discussion. The obligation for proof is on those who made the initial sabrina 1 May 2012 #294
You are actually the one with the right wing meme WinniSkipper May 2012 #299
Now you've really gone way off the tracks regarding this discussion. What a gigantic, humongous sabrina 1 May 2012 #300
Easy WinniSkipper May 2012 #303
Since when do people on the left give a crap about what the Right, who are wrong about sabrina 1 May 2012 #306
Maybe if we try this one by one WinniSkipper May 2012 #311
First of all there should not be a 'custodial' or 'non-custodial' parent. sabrina 1 May 2012 #318
And we're done. nt WinniSkipper May 2012 #321
Lol, sorry to burst your bubble that we are not stuck with rightwing sabrina 1 May 2012 #323
We're done because WinniSkipper May 2012 #325
He never tried to petition the court to adjust his payment to a level he could afford. Kaleva May 2012 #266
Yes, he did. You obviously did not read the comment section. He was denied. sabrina 1 May 2012 #267
I agree in some ways. laundry_queen May 2012 #271
First, thank you for your post. I wish you and your children all the best. I am sure it is not easy sabrina 1 May 2012 #273
"Can't pay" is his excuse treestar May 2012 #256
Courts often decide people can pay when in fact they cannot. Ever attend a father's rights group? sabrina 1 May 2012 #259
Most states have to have formulas based on federal guidelines treestar May 2012 #293
It is not collective punishment to have a law equally applied to all treestar May 2012 #254
True enough, but semantics, much like fabreeze seeks to take away the bad odor /nt Dragonfli May 2012 #194
This is nothing but a long drawn Texasgal May 2012 #21
Recommendation: fathersandfriends.org web site and facebook page grasswire May 2012 #27
OP needs to edit this to include that it is due to failure to pay child support... Earth_First May 2012 #28
Really the biggest mistake he made was in not hiring the best lawyer he could, n2doc May 2012 #29
He was trying not to traumatize his kids. The family court version of Zalatix May 2012 #92
So he in effect surrendered. n2doc May 2012 #106
It's hardly pyrrhic. She won the jackpot. Literally. Zalatix May 2012 #145
She'll get no money n2doc May 2012 #153
This is true, but she'll get plenty of money from her new husband Zalatix May 2012 #155
I don't think they're engaged. Pithlet May 2012 #163
She left because she was supporting him. Kaleva May 2012 #327
You mean hire an attorney he apparently couldn't afford. The Doctor. May 2012 #99
Wow some of the replies are pretty tough. dkf May 2012 #31
Yep, Non-Custodial Parents are one of the untermenschen of modern society. No one cares about them stevenleser May 2012 #195
Thank you, I agree with you completely. sabrina 1 May 2012 #286
The child support laws have been developed over time through good and bad treestar May 2012 #309
I can't argue with providing for your kids, but it seems to me that society could have benefited dkf May 2012 #329
Poorly-written "poor me" screed. He's facing jail for missing child support payments, not cc debt REP May 2012 #32
You know, I notice you have no pity for anyone. Zalatix May 2012 #93
Really? You've read all 14K+ of my posts? REP May 2012 #96
You are right, absolutes are seldom true. I can say though, that I have yet to see a post of yours Dragonfli May 2012 #196
I thought I was responding to someone else - sorry - edited REP May 2012 #221
Why thank you for noticing me these past 8 years! /nt Dragonfli May 2012 #222
I'm sorry; thought I was responding to someone else. I don't recognize you at all. REP May 2012 #223
No need to edit, one thing I am not is easily offended :-) /nt Dragonfli May 2012 #229
Right, because you know all the answers, The Doctor. May 2012 #103
I have obviously made better choices; I am not going to prison. REP May 2012 #151
I'm not the one making assumptions. The Doctor. May 2012 #161
That's odd - only you suggested others make the same decisions I do; I didn't REP May 2012 #220
"I slog through your Word Salads of Fury" pintobean May 2012 #261
foresight Mason Dixon May 2012 #38
He's wrong about the family courts being biased against fathers. pnwmom May 2012 #40
I agree with that. randome May 2012 #45
Maybe where you are .. sendero May 2012 #63
Well, I mean, you can just google and find some right off the bat... Pithlet May 2012 #65
Also, here's what a family lawyer in Texas says about father's chances in Texas: Pithlet May 2012 #67
Who told you that? A man who had been denied custody? A judge? pnwmom May 2012 #84
I think you were told wrong Horse with no Name May 2012 #87
Let me make a point here. After the close to TWENTY Motion Hearings Horse with no Name May 2012 #89
Link please. lumberjack_jeff May 2012 #71
And support is gender neutral, too. treestar May 2012 #79
They don't request support ecause if they demand mom's support for the kids, she'll demand custody. lumberjack_jeff May 2012 #88
Well the laws are gender neutral treestar May 2012 #108
My husband said that when he was suing for custody Mariana May 2012 #128
He says right in the OP that sufrommich May 2012 #160
We have an acquaintance here in NY HappyMe May 2012 #169
He's not wrong as the only person responding to you with a link pointed out. stevenleser May 2012 #197
It's called "The Tender Years Doctrine". The Doctor. May 2012 #202
From that very link: Pithlet May 2012 #243
Thank you, that's what I thought. I have asked for some links to prove what has been said here, sabrina 1 May 2012 #265
Yes, you are not going to get any links because it is simply not true. stevenleser May 2012 #281
He knows he's wrong, he's got custody of one of his sufrommich May 2012 #200
Omniscience must be nice. The Doctor. May 2012 #203
I know as much of the story as you do, but if you're going sufrommich May 2012 #204
Making shit up again.... wow. The Doctor. May 2012 #291
"But I know your history well" sufrommich May 2012 #297
Do you have any data for that? That is not what I have found. . sabrina 1 May 2012 #264
My ex is dumb as a hammer and crazy as a sack of bats. LASlibinSC May 2012 #42
I'm really sorry that these things happened to the author of the post. JDPriestly May 2012 #43
That was my impression as well - TBF May 2012 #50
We need to have a national discussion about the problem of divorce. JDPriestly May 2012 #201
Short story: He's going to jail for failure to pay child support. Selatius May 2012 #48
how do you pay child support from jail? grasswire May 2012 #49
I'm assuming he's serving jail time in lieu of failure to pay past child support. Selatius May 2012 #51
the jail time does not pay off the obligation grasswire May 2012 #70
It's very hard to get someone in jail for it treestar May 2012 #76
I know without reading that he's going to jail for back child support. lumberjack_jeff May 2012 #53
Exactly. bluestate10 May 2012 #56
No they don't. Meet Charles Bruce. lumberjack_jeff May 2012 #66
Debtor's prison is for debts accrued on purchases and loans. Starry Messenger May 2012 #54
Maybe they think if the "debt" is discharged. Pithlet May 2012 #58
Imprisoning poor people after assigning them debts they could never pay is wrong Taitertots May 2012 #55
$7800 a year is outrageous?? Do you have a clue what it costs Lionessa May 2012 #60
So what, a person making $10,000 can't pay $7800 Taitertots May 2012 #62
But he can live on the remaining $2,200! Zalatix May 2012 #94
It doesn't matter what it costs. The only thing that matters is what he can pay. n/t lumberjack_jeff May 2012 #68
$7800 = 1/4 of male median income. which suggests that there's a lot of men who are working HiPointDem May 2012 #74
Child support is a profit center for the courts. lumberjack_jeff May 2012 #69
and for the associated professions... grasswire May 2012 #72
It's for support of children treestar May 2012 #78
You didn't read the link. lumberjack_jeff May 2012 #86
No, they are decided by formula. treestar May 2012 #109
It is a figure based on his income and hers treestar May 2012 #77
sigh grasswire May 2012 #82
Well if those are the rules, they are applied to everyone treestar May 2012 #83
that may be so... grasswire May 2012 #85
The economy would be considered treestar May 2012 #110
B/C those guidelines cause poor people to pay an unreasonable amount Taitertots May 2012 #302
Give it away? treestar May 2012 #304
Of course there are no groups trying to change the formula... Taitertots May 2012 #319
$7800 tru May 2012 #234
Fail to take care of your kids, go to jail quakerboy May 2012 #91
And then how do the kids get support if he's in jail? Or dead? Zalatix May 2012 #95
It amazes me how so many can form such strong opinions over something they didn't bother to read. The Doctor. May 2012 #101
Try again. quakerboy May 2012 #102
You just proved that you didn't read it. The Doctor. May 2012 #104
For all we know, she may not have commited perjury. Kaleva May 2012 #105
Your point? The Doctor. May 2012 #113
Check out post 116..there's a reason for his problems....nt msanthrope May 2012 #118
That is NOT a reason for his problems. Millions of people get DWIs. Btw, I see this was brought sabrina 1 May 2012 #270
His explanation is bunk quakerboy May 2012 #252
That's a heartbreaking situation. pacalo May 2012 #97
That ex-wife sounds like a horrible nightmare JNelson6563 May 2012 #114
You know what sickens me? Women who form opinions of other women msanthrope May 2012 #115
You're right, I should've prefaced with: JNelson6563 May 2012 #130
There you go. Horse with no Name May 2012 #149
I thought he sounded like a nightmare. Pithlet May 2012 #132
I suspect this item on the POLICE BLOTTER might explain why the wife left.... msanthrope May 2012 #116
Might explain his very erratic work history. Kaleva May 2012 #119
Well, I suspect it isn't just one.... msanthrope May 2012 #120
I posted the question at Kos with a link to the police blotter. Kaleva May 2012 #124
I expect crickets. nt msanthrope May 2012 #125
Yes. I don't expect a reply. Kaleva May 2012 #127
and knowing too many people with drinking problems - bhikkhu May 2012 #129
Wow, posting his home address. The Doctor. May 2012 #159
Writer displays many traits typical of narcissistic personality disorder. lapislzi May 2012 #324
Well, that makes it alright to lock him up and throw away the key. He was pulled over for a DWI. sabrina 1 May 2012 #133
I think the point is Pithlet May 2012 #136
such scenarios DO happen, trite as they may sound grasswire May 2012 #140
That may be. Pithlet May 2012 #141
How many DWIs does she have? Do we know? And suppose she does, what has that got to do sabrina 1 May 2012 #241
No. We don't know. But we do know how many he has. At least one. Pithlet May 2012 #245
It might have much to do with his being unable to pay the child support... Kaleva May 2012 #144
And it might not. But don't let doubt get in the way of a nice character assasination. The Doctor. May 2012 #162
Well, the writer had no problem assassinating the character of his former wife. lapislzi May 2012 #298
And it might not. And if he was a wealthy Corporate CEO, the issue of DWIs would not even be raised. sabrina 1 May 2012 #238
In this case it might. Kaleva May 2012 #242
That is very true. lapislzi May 2012 #326
Um, what are you talking about? msanthrope May 2012 #192
Don't be sorry for something you are merely speculating on. I pointed out sabrina 1 May 2012 #240
You really think having an addiction has nothing to do with the ability to pay child msanthrope May 2012 #251
Who said he is an addict? But if he is, of cours it would affect his ability to pay support. Just sabrina 1 May 2012 #255
I think his letter very clearly spells out his problems. Denial is a powerful thing. nt msanthrope May 2012 #258
This is what he said at Kos about the arrest: Kaleva May 2012 #263
So he admitted to drinking, but refused the breathalyzer that msanthrope May 2012 #274
Yes. He never did say why he refused the Breathalyzer. Kaleva May 2012 #276
Why did you bring this information over to DK? First, how is it relevant sabrina 1 May 2012 #282
I didn't google him Kaleva May 2012 #287
Well, anyone in that thread at DK could have googled him, possibly they did. It doesn't sabrina 1 May 2012 #290
I beg to differ Kaleva May 2012 #295
Well, I will tell you why most criminal defendants refuse a breathalyzer...it's because they are msanthrope May 2012 #301
Well , he says there was no finding that he refused a breathalyzer test. Kaleva May 2012 #305
No, it doesn't. It spells out a very common story in this country of someone who has been trying sabrina 1 May 2012 #269
Well, they say the first step is admitting that everyone else has a problem. msanthrope May 2012 #275
Lol, I know that things like 'chronology' aren't important when trying to lambaste someone... The Doctor. May 2012 #157
You really think a drinking problem just popped up after his wife left? nt msanthrope May 2012 #189
They're not building those private prisons for nutt'n. lonestarnot May 2012 #126
no he's not stupidicus May 2012 #137
I don't think he helped his case by giving his name and publicly accusing his ex of perjury. Kaleva May 2012 #143
I think he's a whining dumbass stupidicus May 2012 #233
+1 Kaleva May 2012 #278
The responses to this thread... Unca Jim May 2012 #146
... are indicative of the nation's attitude toward the poor and unfortunate. The Doctor. May 2012 #150
Do you know who the largest percentage of poor people are in this country? Pithlet May 2012 #152
Do you consider 'non-custodial parents' part of those single parent families? stevenleser May 2012 #173
Whether or not I consider them part of the family is irrelevant. Pithlet May 2012 #175
It's not irrelevant. You dont see the non-custodial parent as a parent and you are right. stevenleser May 2012 #177
I absolutely do see the non custodial parent as a parent. Because they are. Pithlet May 2012 #178
Then you misunderstood what I was asking (maybe I didnt phrase it well), but my point remains. stevenleser May 2012 #179
Yes. I was tying to explain that families run by a single parent are the poorest. Pithlet May 2012 #180
You WERE clear, hence my point. You dont think of the non custodial parent as a parent. stevenleser May 2012 #182
"You dont think of the non custodial parent as a parent." Pithlet May 2012 #183
You excluded them, I am just pointing out what is apparent from your own phraseology stevenleser May 2012 #184
Why would I do that? Pithlet May 2012 #185
I'm not sure what question you are answering since I asked about a dozen or more, but... stevenleser May 2012 #186
Right. Equal and shared custody doesn't exist. Pithlet May 2012 #187
Alas, now I have to tell you that you are wrong. stevenleser May 2012 #190
Uh, this proves that shared custody doesn't exist how? n/t Pithlet May 2012 #207
TO clarify even further Pithlet May 2012 #181
"Any question about how different some of these responses would be if this were a woman... 99Forever May 2012 #166
Totally ignoring how often this agenda is anti woman, of course. Pithlet May 2012 #167
99% of the time??????????? 99Forever May 2012 #237
I've been on DU since 2001 Pithlet May 2012 #239
Frankly... 99Forever May 2012 #249
Then you can save your disingenuous claims of support for women, ok? Pithlet May 2012 #250
The contingency of people on DU with an agenda against men balances it out.. RedRocco May 2012 #279
Um, no. lapislzi May 2012 #310
Your pseudo-neutrality is pretty apparent. The Doctor. May 2012 #313
His glaring holes Kaleva May 2012 #315
He constructed a very visually appealing cross to martyr himself on... LanternWaste May 2012 #154
Wow, he was right. I'm starting to like this guy. The Doctor. May 2012 #165
I don't suffer deadbeat dads. LanternWaste May 2012 #188
Right, he tried, he failed, he should be punished for failing to make enough money. The Doctor. May 2012 #193
Yep, we care about the 99%... unless they are a non-custodial parent. NCP's can go to hell. stevenleser May 2012 #198
Money is neither speech, nor support, nor being a parent. Also... stevenleser May 2012 #168
Having suffered at the hands of a sociopath Horse with no Name May 2012 #206
This is an easy question to answer. The bad parents you describe should have their parental rights stevenleser May 2012 #208
There is only one bad parent here...and on paper, it sounds easy Horse with no Name May 2012 #214
Yes. laundry_queen May 2012 #312
It would cost more to keep him in prison than to give him a job on a road crew or something. limpyhobbler May 2012 #174
You are so right, but that's not the point and I think you see it. stevenleser May 2012 #176
Divorce is ugly, especially when kids are involved DaveJ May 2012 #199
You would be surprised how many people become less mentally stable when you take their kids away stevenleser May 2012 #205
I do not agree at all with your "half-time" logic DaveJ May 2012 #209
Sure it does. Its only in the situation of a divorce when it doesnt. Consider stevenleser May 2012 #210
You are mistaken. Pithlet May 2012 #213
Nope, if they are then it is temporary during foster care. Once adopted, the payments stop. stevenleser May 2012 #224
Well, that's not what you said, is it? Pithlet May 2012 #230
That distinction isnt relevant to the divorce/custody situation, is it? nt stevenleser May 2012 #231
Not getting you n/t Pithlet May 2012 #232
It would take a LOT for me to be convinced... DaveJ May 2012 #217
Nope, I am saying that parents who would not have their children taken away if they were alone stevenleser May 2012 #228
Fine DaveJ May 2012 #248
Its important to remember that "Its for the children" has been used to justify some of the worst stevenleser May 2012 #272
I get where you are coming from and I get that with your emotion Horse with no Name May 2012 #211
The actual studies on the subject say the exact opposite. Everyone is happier in shared situations stevenleser May 2012 #212
I don't need studies to tell me anything. Horse with no Name May 2012 #215
OK, if we're discounting studies, we're done. nt stevenleser May 2012 #216
Yes I am because I KNOW that there are just as many studies Horse with no Name May 2012 #218
he's incoherent tru May 2012 #226
Lucky for his wife!!!!!???? kag May 2012 #235
We don't know if he kept all of his promises to her. Kaleva May 2012 #236
If you read his journals at DU2 written about 3 years ago... Kaleva May 2012 #330
The US is being reconstructed as 1 vast open air debtor's prison kenny blankenship May 2012 #246
While that may be true, and I agree with you, lapislzi May 2012 #284
Unrec brooklynite May 2012 #288
I read through the comments. The Doctor. May 2012 #317
However, you were tooting his horn not long after he posted his story at DK Kaleva May 2012 #320
I'm raising two children who don't get support from the father. Codeine May 2012 #322
Yup, I with you. RebelOne May 2012 #328
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