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In the discussion thread: The Constant Pain Of Being Ugly. [View all]

Response to mylye2222 (Original post)

Fri Apr 3, 2015, 12:15 PM

20. I hope you have some family around?

My family is always stared at in public. We have both a condition called Marfans running in it (two sisters and a mother), and simply excessive height. My 'baby' sister (now 49), who grew to be 6'8" by a rather young age, was once circled and spoken about, in a grocery store, by two old hags, as if she wasn't there, or wasn't human. Boy, did I let into them, and told them they had the ugliest, cruelest souls I had ever seen. I really went off. Two of my sisters are tall due to Marfans, which also creates a certain pattern of facial features. This genetic disorder brings with it a lifetime of ever-crippling anguish, as the bones and muscles disintegrate, adding canes and wheel chairs, limps and multiple surgeries, as well as other concerns. There are always stares. Having been born in the 1950s, though, when crippled people were actually hidden away from the public, I myself can at least see the huge improvements in this country in the treatment and respect for the disabled, compared to the 1950s. But the staring, always the staring...

My son is simply tall and enormous. He is about 7' tall (he wouldn't measure himself after he hit 6'11", he didn't want to know, too painful). He can't fit into most vehicles. He also has bipolar disorder, and that keeps him from maintaining steady employment. In the USA, if you earn barely enough money to make rent and utilities payments and maybe eat enough to barely stay alive, there is no help given for medicine or doctors, and his medicines alone are $700 a month, and without them, he would die. So he is in an impossible and soul-crushing position. locked into poverty, where he can't afford decent meals or clothing, or anything, ever . Either he can't work enough to get ahead, or he loses his medical care, or else he somehow miraculously jumps up in the employment world and earns enough to be self-sufficient, and that is impossible barring a miracle. His medicines make him crave sweets and fats, and he has battled all his life but most of it has weighed well over 350; the lowest he has been able to do is 302, which is at least 75 lbs too much. People always remembered me, because they never forget my son (who is now 33).

The one thing most annoying is that people will always come up and ask you if you play basketball. My baby sister one day replied, no, I'm a horse jockey. I love that joke. But it really does grind on you, year in and year out.

The world is full of assholes. But it is also full of generous and loving people. I pray you come in contact with some.

On edit: and the same jerks who stare and point, are the first ones to ask you to retrieve something from a top shelf at a store.

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Arrow 59 replies Author Time Post
mylye2222 Apr 2015 OP
trumad Apr 2015 #1
wendylaroux Apr 2015 #2
cwydro Apr 2015 #33
Scuba Apr 2015 #48
F4lconF16 Apr 2015 #51
Erich Bloodaxe BSN Apr 2015 #3
H2O Man Apr 2015 #4
sinkingfeeling Apr 2015 #5
dissentient Apr 2015 #6
mopinko Apr 2015 #8
Bettie Apr 2015 #7
femmedem Apr 2015 #9
MBS Apr 2015 #22
cwydro Apr 2015 #34
hifiguy Apr 2015 #38
Egnever Apr 2015 #42
libodem Apr 2015 #10
riderinthestorm Apr 2015 #11
Quantess Apr 2015 #12
rhett o rick Apr 2015 #13
Depaysement Apr 2015 #14
My Good Babushka Apr 2015 #15
Arugula Latte Apr 2015 #16
NikolaC Apr 2015 #17
raging moderate Apr 2015 #18
safeinOhio Apr 2015 #19
LineReply I hope you have some family around?
DebJ Apr 2015 #20
mylye2222 Apr 2015 #23
RebelOne Apr 2015 #25
DebJ Apr 2015 #57
leftofcool Apr 2015 #21
closeupready Apr 2015 #24
uppityperson Apr 2015 #26
treestar Apr 2015 #27
malaise Apr 2015 #28
CoffeeCat Apr 2015 #29
awoke_in_2003 Apr 2015 #49
upaloopa Apr 2015 #30
LineReply .
Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #31
cwydro Apr 2015 #35
mcar Apr 2015 #32
TexasMommaWithAHat Apr 2015 #36
Chathamization Apr 2015 #56
dawg Apr 2015 #37
steve2470 Apr 2015 #39
Jefferson23 Apr 2015 #40
Dont call me Shirley Apr 2015 #41
hifiguy Apr 2015 #45
Dont call me Shirley Apr 2015 #46
Boxerfan Apr 2015 #43
bemildred Apr 2015 #44
Qutzupalotl Apr 2015 #47
lumberjack_jeff Apr 2015 #50
raven mad Apr 2015 #52
WillyT Apr 2015 #53
AndreaCG Apr 2015 #54
pipi_k Apr 2015 #55
Liberal_in_LA Apr 2015 #58
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