The Constant Pain Of Being Ugly. [View all]

I am aware I am among of ugly people. Constant losers.
I was born premature , have a left crooked eye , Im small and suffers from vitiligo (skin depigmenting)
So..
So I am ammost never hired. So I am bashed on social networks French political forums. So everyday I walk in the city I hear mumbling insulting comments.
so I was many times advised to kill myself for stopping imposing the beautifull the horrible sight of me.
Of course I wont do it.
But as everyday goes the more self confidence I lose and the more "uneusefull I feel" Adding that to having been recebtly attacked vy people I thought were friends abput my inhability to get a job They say "I am too kind of a girl and that if I want work I have to become nasty" I cant be nasty on command!
Add that that I am living with zero money at the moment and eats once a day (maybe is that that depresses me) and that more and more even comes to wish France will turn into civil war so I will have the considered pretext to FLEE from a country I feel in the core it has ZERO place for me in its society.

very heavy heart today...