General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Okay, no spanking. I get that but what's this dad suppose to do? [View all]JoePhilly
(27,787 posts)When ever it happens, write down what happened PRIOR to the screaming. What were YOU doing in the HOURS before?
Were you engaging them, or ignoring them? Were you preoccupied with work? Were you upset about something? Running late?
When did they eat last, what was it? What were they doing in the last view hours? Have they been running around such that they are now physically tired?
How long did it last? What did not work? What ultimately "worked".
Which parent is usually better at handling these with which child (for us it differed)?
Were there any little signs that a "melt down" (a word we used for this) might be coming?
A big part of dealing with, and ending melt downs is to prevent them by knowing what situations are likely to cause them.
We found that a hungry or tired child, plus some parental work tension, plus a change in routine could easily trigger one. So, we started to pay attention to managing those situations such that we worked to head off the melt-down before it happened.
We also found that kids learn how to push your buttons. So our one child would lay in bed calling for Mom. She'd go in, and our son would work her. He had a plan. So we learned that which ever parent they called for is the one who's buttons they were going to push. So we sent the other parent.
We also used the baby monitors so that while one of this tried to work out the issue, the other listened from the other room, and then we'd talk about how it went. Sometimes the parent in the room doesn't realize they are being worked. But the one listening can tell.
But the key is prevention. Melt-down's aren't random events. If you keep track for a while when they occur, the patterns will emerge. And you'll see a potential melt-down long before it can happen.