On white male, hetro privilege.

[ElboRuum]

69. For what it is worth...

I got halfway through reading through the replies and, well, I don't know what to tell you.

You have brought up a point that I have yet to screw up the courage to broach here, which is odd, because of all the people in the world, I would expect those here to come to my side. That is, if I hadn't see this sort of thing often with my own eyes first.

See, I am of the impression that fairness to all people, under the law, and within the society at large, is an overarching goal of liberalism. So, you can probably understand my confusion when I come here and see claims that sexism and racism perpetrated against WMS wouldn't or can't be considered racism or sexism. According to those laying claim to the definitions it is a question of power. We have it, and underlyingly, that's what the -ism is all about.

Now, maybe its my own misunderstanding that is coming up here, but I was always under the impression that all of these -isms were about the act of conflating what is a superficial state of being present from birth, but saying nothing specific about the person possessing the trait, into some statement of worth, usually pejoratively or negatively. This, however, is neither here nor there. People here have redefined their terms to suit their needs since time immemorial. Personally, this in and of itself is not a problem. If DUers want to amend those definitions in creative, yet reasonable, ways, I've got not issue.

What is a problem is the blatantly obvious hypocrisy evinced by otherwise fair minded people in their mind-boggling refusal to acknowledge the problem of singling out any group as being fair game for any sort of of negative relativism.

I know how you feel. You want to be a part of the solution, but you feel weary of having to sit at the back of conversations, regardless of whatever enlightenment you may feel you can bring to it because, in some way, you've been made to feel like you are the problem, not WMS in general, YOU. It does become personal, because when they say YOU don't get it, it IS personal. Your post has no mocking to it. Those who say it is clearly don't see the difference between a mocking tone and an exasperated one.

And people can say what they want about this. I too understand the privilege. But my conjecture is that if society is to look past the privilege to an equitable society, it's got to start locally first. That means here. Amongst those who claim to understand what a poison it is. Why would people who want equity maintain this inequity and claim, in essence, that it is fair? Oh, it won't necessarily be in those words, or it might be, but at least an implication will be there. You will feel it, just as sure as you do now.

My advice to you is as follows:

1. Speak your mind, whatever that entails. You are a member here, apparently in good standing. You deserve to be heard even if every person at DU puts you on ignore.

2. Be consistent in your opinions on this matter. Keep working for fairness and equality, even if you feel that the point is missed by those who should be in your corner.

3. Stiff upper lip. Until this attitude changes, you're going to feel like a bit of a punching bag. You are going to want to hold back your opinion because you just want to avoid a confrontation. I've been guilty of this myself, and I understand. Use your judgment, pick your battles, and remember point number 2, but never let DU bully you into silence when you feel like you have something to offer.

4. Don't feel guilty about being what you are. You had as little choice in the matter as those who are not W nor M nor S. That society confers an advantage on you because of this accident of birth is also NOT YOUR FAULT. In fact, knowing what you know now and would you have the ability to do so, if such advantage could be foregone, you'd probably give it up, like the albatross around your neck that it probably feels like. You never asked for it, probably don't want it, but it sticks to you no matter how much you "get" anything. Stop any apologism, direct or implied, for BEING.

You remarked before to another poster that this atavistic stick-poking keeps other WMS from being liberal or finding commonality with their goals, simply because it's hostile ground from go. I think this is oversimplifying a bit, but I think there is a nugget of truth there. Who wants to be a part of a group that doesn't accept them as equals? Really, life is lived in this fashion, not in some political abstraction. What is a person to make of a situation where the people they have the most in common with are the least accepting of who they are? Wild concept, and one which enjoys a disturbing amount of popularity here.

Anyway, it may not be of much comfort, but you are not alone.