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LWolf

(46,179 posts)
5. That degree of "don't give a shit..."
Thu Jul 17, 2014, 01:48 PM
Jul 2014

You don't understand. Let me try to explain. As a middle-ages woman with constant weight issues, in a world that values female youth and slenderness, it's not going to matter what I wear. I'm going to be judged. I know it going in. I know how I look to others.

Fat shaming is why, no matter where my weight is, I NEVER dress up. I NEVER want to attract attention. I dress to avoid attention.

I do not wear anything tight or revealing. Ever. To be honest, I don't know if I would if I were still young and thin. I'm not really a fan of the modern must-be-clingy-and-skin-tight "fashion" anyway. But in a world where I'm judged on what I look like, I generally do my best to slide under the radar.

I'm not obese. I'm not thin. I fluctuate between healthy and overweight. I have a metabolic disorder; thyroid deficiency and type II diabetes. To maintain a healthy weight, I have to limit myself to about 800 calories a day, with NEVER any sugar or complex carbs. Break that rule, and the weight piles on.

Well, it's hard to maintain that forever, so my weight fluctuates. And once the rule is broken, it's really hard facing getting back to the always-hungry life. It would help if I got more exercise, but knee, ankle, and allergy-caused wheezing limits that. So while I do exercise, it's not enough to make a weight difference.

While men can be fat shamed, it's never to the extent that women are Warpy Jul 2014 #1
I figured that sort of thing happened, and mostly to women, even if I didn't as a male... Silent3 Jul 2014 #4
Being 6 feet tall helps also eridani Jul 2014 #23
Truth! PasadenaTrudy Jul 2014 #8
Men don't know what it's like to be a woman! Bonobo Jul 2014 #22
Really? JFC. nt laundry_queen Jul 2014 #29
Great contribution to this thread. Not. nt raccoon Jul 2014 #30
My experience laundry_queen Jul 2014 #2
I was actually surprised that my own doctors didn't mention my weight... Silent3 Jul 2014 #3
That degree of "don't give a shit..." LWolf Jul 2014 #5
Oh, that's a degree of "don't give a shit" that I do get... Silent3 Jul 2014 #7
It's not really about opinions. More about people making unsolicited (and often insulting) comments. nomorenomore08 Jul 2014 #13
In working with a weight loss professional, I've learned a lot most people don't know. nolabear Jul 2014 #6
Oh yes. laundry_queen Jul 2014 #9
You're welcome. Let me know if you find good stuff. nolabear Jul 2014 #16
I'll never, of course, make any excuses for people being assholes... Silent3 Jul 2014 #12
It doesn't matter. Unless the person is a close friend or family member, their weight is none of nomorenomore08 Jul 2014 #14
From what other people have written, it's often friends and especially family... Silent3 Jul 2014 #19
That too. Mentioning someone's weight problem in private, out of genuine concern, is one thing. nomorenomore08 Jul 2014 #20
Read this. It's layperson-speak but you can find the science to back it up if you care to. nolabear Jul 2014 #17
That article doesn't contradict anything I said... Silent3 Jul 2014 #18
Either you and I are talking about different people nolabear Jul 2014 #21
No, what I'm saying doesn't mean two people taking the same actions... Silent3 Jul 2014 #25
Genetics isn't the only think you can't do jackshit about eridani Jul 2014 #24
I'm not sure how to say this, exactly... laundry_queen Jul 2014 #27
The point of my OP is that I think different people have different ideas about... Silent3 Jul 2014 #32
"I live in a rich town full of slim, judgmental soccer moms" Mopar151 Jul 2014 #26
I have to ask laundry_queen Jul 2014 #28
Means you're immune to the question, for one thing Mopar151 Jul 2014 #33
Honestly, I'd love to get some car input. riderinthestorm Jul 2014 #34
There's an auto enthusiast group here Mopar151 Jul 2014 #35
More gremaine to the thread..... Beautiful shoulders, lovely muscles Mopar151 Jul 2014 #36
Great post. You should consider starting a thread with this. nt raccoon Jul 2014 #31
Ok to me fat shaming AndreaCG Jul 2014 #10
Comments like this: newcriminal Jul 2014 #11
I dated a guy a few years ago who was only 2 inches taller than you but also weighed about 245 lbs. Lunacee_2013 Jul 2014 #15
I never took an official "before" picture... Silent3 Jul 2014 #37
Post removed Post removed Feb 2015 #38
Now I'm going to be wondering... Silent3 Feb 2015 #39
There are many reasons that MIRT bans people. icymist Feb 2015 #40
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