Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Number23

(24,544 posts)
115. Thank you, Ecumenist. I too am a black woman married to a white man
Tue Apr 3, 2012, 01:55 AM
Apr 2012

Not dating. MARRIED. And one of the reasons I love this man is because he is smart, considerate and RESPECTFUL of me, my family and my culture to know that he has NO BUSINESS using that word. EVER.

oh horseshit. words are just letters arranged in a certain order. Schema Thing Apr 2012 #1
Are you black, SCHEMA? Just curious based on your comment. Ecumenist Apr 2012 #3
I don't like anyone using that word. Some words need to die. That one needs to die. roguevalley Apr 2012 #29
No, but just like my Black friends I've been using words since I was a toddler. Schema Thing Apr 2012 #50
that's a cheeky thing to say to someone like me. I'm a BLACK WOMAN MARRIED to a SOUTHERN Ecumenist Apr 2012 #62
Where did you get this idea? Schema Thing Apr 2012 #75
Where did I get that idea? Are you serious? What about this: Ecumenist Apr 2012 #78
yeah, I still don't get where you took something I didn't say from something I did say. Schema Thing Apr 2012 #89
hoping for better from others is not "authoritarian." nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #92
Sorry Schema, but just because you feel entitled to use hate speech DOES NOT MAKE YOU BLACK or just Ecumenist Apr 2012 #94
Again, you are refusing to read or reply to my actual words. Schema Thing Apr 2012 #99
Lecturing people? I'm not the only one who are READING YOUR WORDS AND GETTING THE SAME Ecumenist Apr 2012 #125
Sorry, but no you don't tkmorris Apr 2012 #137
You got that right! Tell it like it is! goclark Apr 2012 #117
i inferred the same from "I've been using words since i was a toddler." since most have, nofurylike Apr 2012 #107
Thank you, Ecumenist. I too am a black woman married to a white man Number23 Apr 2012 #115
White here with a sister married to a black man. It bothers me also so you can imagine how it feels jwirr Apr 2012 #165
Some moron came up with the fundamentally flawed idea that using it everyday would reduce it's Ecumenist Apr 2012 #181
I agree. And it doesn't help my sister, her husband or their children. jwirr Apr 2012 #187
Geez Louise Number23 Apr 2012 #114
Why is that deserving of a face palm? EOTE Apr 2012 #162
So your significant other is okay with people calling her the n word? Number23 Apr 2012 #213
She uses it herself. EOTE Apr 2012 #218
I'm Not Black RobinA Apr 2012 #177
Well, the chance of becoming queen of anything other than a turnip or pumpkin festival Ecumenist Apr 2012 #183
Way To Miss the Point n/m RobinA Apr 2012 #208
Understood completely and realiser you're naive to think that you could become queen of anything Ecumenist Apr 2012 #209
gawd-damned straight! (edited) Cerridwen Apr 2012 #6
Well said, but I think you're misinformed about Godwin. EOTE Apr 2012 #163
I'm relieved to see another has the same interpretation. Cerridwen Apr 2012 #232
i see that to you they are. nofurylike Apr 2012 #24
It's not your fault that you're profoundly ignorant of the historical context this word came from, sudopod Apr 2012 #43
I'm every bit as aware as you are of the historical context of the word. Schema Thing Apr 2012 #52
That's nice in theory. sudopod Apr 2012 #54
whoa there Schema Thing Apr 2012 #63
Talking like a damn fool. sudopod Apr 2012 #67
Brilliant!! thank you for that, sudopod!! heartbreakingly spot on Truth. nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #90
;) sudopod Apr 2012 #113
thank you so very much, sudopod. nofurylike Apr 2012 #120
I used to completely agree with your claim, but I have learned words are ZombieHorde Apr 2012 #119
In addition to the meaning of the person who hears them, also... LanternWaste Apr 2012 #156
I just wanted to say "Thank You" for saying what I've been feeling for so long now. EnviroBat Apr 2012 #166
Amen, NoFuryLIke!.. Iam a black woman MARRIED to a white man and HE HAS NEVER USED THAT WORD Ecumenist Apr 2012 #2
thank you so very much, Ecumenist!! nofurylike Apr 2012 #7
I taught my kid the reason the word is wrong, beyond being crude and disrespectful, is that where freshwest Apr 2012 #28
Amen, FreshWest. It seems that the Trayvon Martin case is bringing out of the woodwork Ecumenist Apr 2012 #70
a crucially important aspect, "an 'action' word," thank you so much, freshwest!! and nofurylike Apr 2012 #97
I never used that word with my husband who was black man notadmblnd Apr 2012 #35
What about Eminem? nt Snake Alchemist Apr 2012 #4
i would say the same to him, though i doubt he'd listen any more nofurylike Apr 2012 #9
Actually Eminem never said the N-word in ANY of his songs. FarLeftFist Apr 2012 #15
thank you for correcting that, FarLeftFist. i apologize to Eminem for nofurylike Apr 2012 #22
You need to listen to his underground stuff. Snake Alchemist Apr 2012 #23
So if my daugher asks what the "n-word" is and why she should never say it, hughee99 Apr 2012 #5
i ask that other parents please reply to that. nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #8
I think, Hughee99, that you need to tell your sweet little girl what the word is, why she shouldn't Ecumenist Apr 2012 #13
very beautifully said. thank you so much for that, Ecumenist. nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #27
That approach worked well with my daughter. Mariana Apr 2012 #49
Adults don't like to admit to being retroactively wrong loyalsister Apr 2012 #88
that is insightful!!! yes! "being retroactively wrong ... they feel the need to defend"!! nofurylike Apr 2012 #98
awesome loyalsister Apr 2012 #104
thank you for bringing it to this thread, loyalsister. nofurylike Apr 2012 #121
Any and all, I guess loyalsister Apr 2012 #144
o my, that is an entire discussion, in itself! much to think about ! nofurylike Apr 2012 #193
As far as your original post... loyalsister Apr 2012 #196
great!! i reply tonight, but briefly: "when you say it quoting someone else ... " y'know? nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #198
That's kind of tricky loyalsister Apr 2012 #200
If she's old enough to ask and wonder dems_rightnow Apr 2012 #14
clarifying. thank you so much for replying to that, dems_rightnow. nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #31
Of course you should guitar man Apr 2012 #46
we have this thing called the first amendment quinnox Apr 2012 #10
You are free to say it Aerows Apr 2012 #12
correct, and that is why I agree quinnox Apr 2012 #17
maybe even the consequences of our own consciences. nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #38
How are you then free to say it? NutmegYankee Apr 2012 #145
having a *legal right* to say it is not a question raised by my post (though good question). nofurylike Apr 2012 #37
It's never okay for heterosexuals to Aerows Apr 2012 #11
i agree. thank you for adding that, Aerows. nofurylike Apr 2012 #40
I agree NFL. I get embarrassed when I hear OTHER people say it. It's 100% wrong. FarLeftFist Apr 2012 #16
thank you, again, more, FarLeftFist. i get embarrassed too!! 100%,YES! nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #41
When we were kids and would pile up on each other playing, we'd call it "n***** pile." Archae Apr 2012 #18
I had a friend that asked me what you call Brazil nuts Aerows Apr 2012 #19
We never used the racist term for them. Archae Apr 2012 #26
We played that game, but we called it Jam Pile. notadmblnd Apr 2012 #25
Nowadays kids call it "dog pile." Archae Apr 2012 #33
And we called it a pig pile. I never heard the n-word until we were much older. I saw the first jwirr Apr 2012 #167
It changed, for us, to "pig pile". uppityperson Apr 2012 #36
us too. one of the deepest, most intensely shame-filled lessons i ever learned was nofurylike Apr 2012 #103
This PC horseshit is getting old derby378 Apr 2012 #20
So, because we're democrats/progressives, we should just go around caling browns and blacks "n*****s Ecumenist Apr 2012 #45
I am a Polack, thank you very much derby378 Apr 2012 #48
HAHAHAHA sudopod Apr 2012 #55
Do YOU intend to use any of those words? derby378 Apr 2012 #58
For ANYONE to suggest that ANY group of people shouldn't say a word LaydeeBug Apr 2012 #71
oh lord sudopod Apr 2012 #83
Please LaydeeBug Apr 2012 #153
LaydeeBud, Frankly, I don't think that ANYONE should use this language because it's only Ecumenist Apr 2012 #127
That's Laydeebug, thankyouverymuch, and I agree with you, which is why that racist "friend" should LaydeeBug Apr 2012 #154
:clap: nofurylike Apr 2012 #123
Don't twist what I was saying because you know damn well what my point was. Your attempt Ecumenist Apr 2012 #66
I don't know where you're getting all these ideas from... derby378 Apr 2012 #72
I'm not saying that nobody use them but there is a history behind certain words that prevent them Ecumenist Apr 2012 #81
yes! "there is a history behind certain words that prevent them nofurylike Apr 2012 #126
There is a difference between making certain words part of a benign language... derby378 Apr 2012 #158
no, i didn't write out the c-word. nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #203
yes!! "they would have been (obsolete) at least one hundred years ago." nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #124
To me PC is a rw term - in our family we do not use derogatory words to describe other races jwirr Apr 2012 #170
very well said, thank you so very much, jwirr! nofurylike Apr 2012 #224
"the words that were designed to hurt and degrade" nofurylike Apr 2012 #122
Wow, you must be great fun at parties. nt sudopod Apr 2012 #47
sanitary? how about compassionate, at least? nofurylike Apr 2012 #109
If you don't want me to use the word, don't use it yourself derby378 Apr 2012 #159
i sit in awe at the challenge for people to actually not be purposely offensive to others. seabeyond Apr 2012 #21
yes!! that is really what the argument seems to come down to: nofurylike Apr 2012 #128
Do you really think that it is appropriate gvstn Apr 2012 #30
+100 derby378 Apr 2012 #44
i protested people's using swastikas in avatars here nofurylike Apr 2012 #131
My children were instructed from birth to NEVER use this word w8liftinglady Apr 2012 #32
i explained to my daughter never to use this word as well orleans Apr 2012 #108
beautifully said, orleans, thank you so very much!! nofurylike Apr 2012 #138
VERY well put, w8liftinglady!! "It is foul,obscene-because of its intent. nofurylike Apr 2012 #135
George Carlins and Richard Pryors take on it... -..__... Apr 2012 #34
... and I say - "it is never, ever okay for ME to say (n-word)". stlsaxman Apr 2012 #39
good points, stlsaxman! thank you! nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #225
great discussion, and thank you so for recs!! must run, back later to reply more nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #42
It's certainly never appropriate for people to call each other that word fujiyama Apr 2012 #51
Bingo! derby378 Apr 2012 #56
first, i am not advocating censorship. that should not be necessary with principled nofurylike Apr 2012 #204
I just view the use of dashes and other symbols as silly and pointless fujiyama Apr 2012 #216
Freedom of speech felix_numinous Apr 2012 #53
Tell your friend that it is no ok to refer to caucasian European Americans as "whire". vr94rx7 Apr 2012 #57
"Whire?" derby378 Apr 2012 #59
I hate to be called white so much i forgot how to spell it lol. vr94rx7 Apr 2012 #60
Except when reading Twain. alphafemale Apr 2012 #61
Stings is correct gvstn Apr 2012 #77
that's what an exacto knife is for Schema Thing Apr 2012 #79
I'm white. I would never use the N word. But I don't like the 'tude of your friend. Honeycombe8 Apr 2012 #64
"...at least according to a white's perspective." sudopod Apr 2012 #69
GOD BLESS YOU HONEYCOMB, I am kinda shocked no one called out the friend. LaydeeBug Apr 2012 #73
Well put. nt Union Scribe Apr 2012 #86
As a minority, I call BULLSHIT, and the fact that "your friend" says WHITE PEOPLE can't say it... LaydeeBug Apr 2012 #65
You know LayDeeBug, I have never understood people who claimed that blacks can't be racist. Ecumenist Apr 2012 #129
and it seems the OP's "friend" is an example of someone who wants to BE racist LaydeeBug Apr 2012 #146
Unless you're quoting a line from "Blazing Saddles" AnnieBW Apr 2012 #68
I think it's undeniable that that movie, using humor, helped people Schema Thing Apr 2012 #82
"the social prudishness that has crept into society" sudopod Apr 2012 #84
well, certainly the enlightened attitudes of the movie Blazing Saddles Schema Thing Apr 2012 #91
AW COME ON, IT'S A JOKE! sudopod Apr 2012 #95
somehow you still seem humorless Schema Thing Apr 2012 #100
Post removed Post removed Apr 2012 #102
Post removed Post removed Apr 2012 #105
You have the right to say whatever you want. sudopod Apr 2012 #106
but I don't have any "backwards-ass" opinions. Schema Thing Apr 2012 #110
Bullied? Do you even know what "authortarian" means? sudopod Apr 2012 #111
Amen, Sudopod! There are just some that cannot or WILL NOT understand... Ecumenist Apr 2012 #130
Mein kampfy chair Oilwellian Apr 2012 #199
Right. Archie Bunker was a racist, and they should have NEVER made that show. Romulox Apr 2012 #176
No it is not ok wendylaroux Apr 2012 #74
I so agree and to even use debasements arthritisR_US Apr 2012 #76
+1 freshwest Apr 2012 #80
+ 100 loyalsister Apr 2012 #96
Ain't it the truth! Just because SOME black folks use self-denigrating language DOES NOT Ecumenist Apr 2012 #133
All groups do it, it's just not something I arthritisR_US Apr 2012 #192
Thank you WendyLaRoux, for pointing out what SHOULD be obvious! Ecumenist Apr 2012 #132
Thanks! wendylaroux Apr 2012 #169
absolutely!! thank you very much wendylaroux! welcome! nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #205
Context is everything guitar man Apr 2012 #85
Neither of my 21 year olds pipoman Apr 2012 #87
what blacks are using it? I'VE NEVER HEARD ANYONE BLACK USE THAT WORD! Ecumenist Apr 2012 #134
I think you're doing it again tkmorris Apr 2012 #140
I had two other people read this post and they both started laughing and saying that Ecumenist Apr 2012 #142
Most people who read the post as a response to the OP pipoman Apr 2012 #148
Maybe the context of my post is lost if you don't first read the post pipoman Apr 2012 #147
Spam deleted by PassingFair (MIR Team) dont h8--appreciate Apr 2012 #207
are you a black person? hfojvt Apr 2012 #93
I repeat. Geez Louise... Number23 Apr 2012 #116
thank you, Number23. nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #223
A-Okay. yewberry Apr 2012 #101
In my opinion white people should never use that word to refer to black people. Vattel Apr 2012 #112
Yes, Vattel, EVERYTHING you said is completely correct. Ecumenist Apr 2012 #136
I have a question nadinbrzezinski Apr 2012 #118
NadinBrzezinski, I have no earthly idea why that student was offended by your research Ecumenist Apr 2012 #139
It made sense, if you think about it nadinbrzezinski Apr 2012 #178
thank you, all, for this oustanding discussion! much to reply to all! nofurylike Apr 2012 #141
A specific example for discussion (warning: the word is spelled out) Jim Lane Apr 2012 #143
My mother LOVES that word. YellowRubberDuckie Apr 2012 #149
growing up in segregated Texas in the 50s I never remember hearing my white parents say it. CTyankee Apr 2012 #150
'Plenty of racists don't say it but I'll bet they think it... ' bart95 Apr 2012 #161
aw, come on, you know what I mean. CTyankee Apr 2012 #168
i did stretch it a bit bart95 Apr 2012 #172
In many ways, I agree with you. I'm talking about people who are only mildly hiding CTyankee Apr 2012 #180
It was EASY to discern what you meant, CTYankee. Ecumenist Apr 2012 #188
Should Harper Lee have used asterisks in "To Kill a Mockingbird"? (nt) Nye Bevan Apr 2012 #151
No. She revealed, through dialog, what the problem was. Everybody reading her book knew CTyankee Apr 2012 #194
Can i still sing along to DJ Fletch in the car? nt Snake Alchemist Apr 2012 #152
It's a horrible word that I never, ever, ever use. HappyMe Apr 2012 #155
I agree 100% duhneece Apr 2012 #157
it's not ok for anyone to use it, if you really want it to go away bart95 Apr 2012 #160
I do hope that you and your friend would make allowances for artistic expression slackmaster Apr 2012 #164
Yep. Spike Lee is right. Taverner Apr 2012 #171
so he's advocating 'qualified equality' bart95 Apr 2012 #173
Belated +bazillion derby378 Apr 2012 #231
Spike Lee is a proven idiot. dont h8--appreciate Apr 2012 #206
Opinion noted, Mr 11 posts... Taverner Apr 2012 #210
I can call my brother a dumb bastard and get away with it. He's my brother. Ikonoklast Apr 2012 #174
but if you were to consistently and publicly call him that bart95 Apr 2012 #175
Nope. Doesn't work that way. You are not allowed to call him anything. Ikonoklast Apr 2012 #179
no, here's how it works bart95 Apr 2012 #182
You try it first. I'll watch. Ikonoklast Apr 2012 #185
no, i dont have a chip on my shoulder bart95 Apr 2012 #186
Used to spend a lot of time in courtrooms. Ikonoklast Apr 2012 #190
'I've been insulted by experts before.' bart95 Apr 2012 #195
Right....cause white people are the only ones who are verbally racist.... cbdo2007 Apr 2012 #184
And I say it's never okay for anyone to say it....black, white, or other. Iggo Apr 2012 #189
Oh yeah, I say n***** all the time. Quantess Apr 2012 #191
great comments! thank you!! i apologize i couldn't reply yesterday, or till tonight. nt nofurylike Apr 2012 #197
Nope. Fail. turn off your mind Apr 2012 #201
Your friend seems narrowminded and bigoted... MellowDem Apr 2012 #202
a-MEN. nt LaydeeBug Apr 2012 #217
Here's an interesting idea theaocp Apr 2012 #211
I'm a historian, and the word comes up in documents often... a la izquierda Apr 2012 #212
How am I to sing along with N.W.A. without it? MrSlayer Apr 2012 #214
this is about the responsibility of white people who want to be nofurylike Apr 2012 #215
There is only one situation when you can use the word "Nigger" grantcart Apr 2012 #219
see? exactly the point! said it with relish, didn't you? nofurylike Apr 2012 #220
i always talk about Dick Gregory with great relish. grantcart Apr 2012 #221
i can understand that, absolutely! and an evening with Dick Gregory?! i would too!! nofurylike Apr 2012 #222
I figured it would be provocative enough that it would attract some unsuspecting folks grantcart Apr 2012 #229
great thought, grantcart! i hope it will! nofurylike Apr 2012 #233
i'm sorry my thread has outgrown my dial-up. i can reply to one or two posts nofurylike Apr 2012 #226
I don't know about "never, ever". Imagine a situation when terrorists set up a powerful bomb Fool Count Apr 2012 #227
oh noes!1 my absolute claim is irrefutably rebutted!!1! nofurylike Apr 2012 #228
OK, I see you were not impressed with my counterexamples. Fool Count Apr 2012 #230
i was impressed! superb parody!! nofurylike Apr 2012 #234
Latest Discussions»General Discussion»my friend said, "it ...»Reply #115