General Discussion

justgamma

(3,665 posts)

19. Ok, here's the thing

Tue Jun 10, 2014, 10:44 AM

Jun 2014

I was unloading a truck, driver and I had been talking for a while. Couldn't figure out whether man or woman. Couldn't read name on bill.

Horrors for me. He just had to ask for restroom. What to do? Gave him directions to both. He came back and said "I'm a man!" Because then he knew, I couldn't tell. I felt so bad.

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This is important: steps to take if you cannot figure out a stranger's gender [View all] Recursion Jun 2014 OP

What brought this on? nt MADem Jun 2014 #1

Too long a story to relate (nt) Recursion Jun 2014 #2

If you can't explain it, why mention it? DetlefK Jun 2014 #4

I prefer to be pithy (nt) Recursion Jun 2014 #5

There is pithiness with distilled wisdom or pithy with vulgar obscenity & little wisdom. Bernardo de La Paz Jun 2014 #49

Apparently the OP is too pithed-off to share the circumstances. nt Hekate Jun 2014 #52

DUzy! nt MADem Jun 2014 #56

++ Ed Suspicious Jun 2014 #57

Well played! nt Bernardo de La Paz Jun 2014 #69

Because presumably... jberryhill Jun 2014 #12

Or, possibly ... 1StrongBlackMan Jun 2014 #38

not at all. you're to ignore that their gender is not blatant or knowable to you, and treat them as bettyellen Jun 2014 #39

The challenge in customer service is that we're strictly to address them as sir or ma'am, Mr. or Ms. DesertDiamond Jun 2014 #42

Well, bosses should be advised if it is a problem, and then you folllow their guidelines. bettyellen Jun 2014 #90

I think the idea is to interact with persons of ambiguous gender without needing to djean111 Jun 2014 #40

Good - get a job in which you will be fired unless you use "Mr.", "Ms.", "sir" or "ma'am" jberryhill Jun 2014 #63

I took "mind your own fucking business" to mean "you probably do not need to know djean111 Jun 2014 #64

I have no idea what the OP meant jberryhill Jun 2014 #66

Or, maybe you could get guidance from your manager if it's actually a problem? bettyellen Jun 2014 #89

I read there may be 50-60 genders.. it's a continuum Leme Jun 2014 #3

i guess it matters to me if Leme Jun 2014 #6

you've been on a roll PowerToThePeople Jun 2014 #9

only then does it become relevant -- if you're looking for sexual compatibility unblock Jun 2014 #10

it might help to know Leme Jun 2014 #16

And once you know someone well enough Ms. Toad Jun 2014 #22

are you talking to me? if so.... Leme Jun 2014 #24

You posted in an open thread, on a public forum. n/t Ms. Toad Jun 2014 #26

yes, on a public topic... but I didn't ask a personal question...you did. o well Leme Jun 2014 #29

You set up the scenario Ms. Toad Jun 2014 #50

o well, you are who you are Leme Jun 2014 #51

And they are who they are - Ms. Toad Jun 2014 #53

Post removed Post removed Jun 2014 #54

And the jury results are in... aikoaiko Jun 2014 #78

indeed, our society is extraordinarily obsessed with sexual identity and roles. unblock Jun 2014 #7

"jane just had a baby!" "wow, boy or girl?" Answer: Yes! FSogol Jun 2014 #11

nice one ;) unblock Jun 2014 #13

probably ? Leme Jun 2014 #17

Wonder what The Magistrate does in this situation? n/t JimDandy Jun 2014 #80

But I was really curios....Had a customer at an auto garage I never could tell.... Boxerfan Jun 2014 #8

Was that person's name Pat? (SNL reference) nt betsuni Jun 2014 #14

Yes- Boxerfan Jun 2014 #15

Thank you for adding that detail - Ms. Toad Jun 2014 #23

OR if you need to know for pronoun sake AtheistCrusader Jun 2014 #18

no matter how polite, Leme Jun 2014 #28

Then my options are AtheistCrusader Jun 2014 #31

i was not paying close attention Leme Jun 2014 #36

Ok, here's the thing justgamma Jun 2014 #19

What if I am curious? SkyDaddy7 Jun 2014 #20

If you're attracted why do you care his or her gender? Recursion Jun 2014 #21

Because my interest in a sexual relationship depends on their gender. You really think that's weird? thesquanderer Jun 2014 #61

I always liked this clip jberryhill Jun 2014 #65

priceless. staged, but priceless. aikoaiko Jun 2014 #82

No it is not! SkyDaddy7 Jun 2014 #81

If you are attracted to them, Ms. Toad Jun 2014 #27

Yes, I would seriously say that. More or less. thesquanderer Jun 2014 #62

How about have a general conversation and get to know the person gollygee Jun 2014 #76

My neighbor contiually refers to my cat Samy as "she" snooper2 Jun 2014 #25

Everyone knows... TeeYiYi Jun 2014 #43

Sometimes it's important for business. Tommy_Carcetti Jun 2014 #30

And is asking "Mr. or Ms." that awful? Recursion Jun 2014 #32

If I'm writing a letter or email? Tommy_Carcetti Jun 2014 #33

It's 2014. I open with "Hi Pat:" Recursion Jun 2014 #34

Again, context still matters. Even in 2014. Tommy_Carcetti Jun 2014 #83

Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life edbermac Jun 2014 #35

Sometimes you want to address someone with something more respectful than "Hey You!" IronLionZion Jun 2014 #37

You say- "Hi, I'm XX!" and proceed accordingly. Let's not pretend it's an actual problem, LOL. bettyellen Jun 2014 #41

That's pretty much what I said above. You can get around it a lot more easily in personal DesertDiamond Jun 2014 #46

Unless your business is fucking. Spitfire of ATJ Jun 2014 #44

Is this an 'Orphan Black' reference? randome Jun 2014 #45

More embarrassing than anything. When u call someone a he when ErikJ Jun 2014 #47

Kind of makes it hard to be polite on the phone, though Ilsa Jun 2014 #48

I work in a call center, and I run into that all the time. Orrex Jun 2014 #55

"Hi, this is Zorra. To whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?" Zorra Jun 2014 #60

I'm sorry to say that I don't care for that line when I call customer service Orrex Jun 2014 #68

It works great for us. nt Zorra Jun 2014 #70

Again, I don't doubt that you manage it just fine, but... Orrex Jun 2014 #71

I think it's pleasant, respectful, and effective. No one has ever complained. Zorra Jun 2014 #72

:thumbsup: Orrex Jun 2014 #75

Strangely enough... Orrex Jun 2014 #91

"I'm Pat." LOL. (Or Jordan, Blake, etc) Ilsa Jun 2014 #84

Less than helpful Android3.14 Jun 2014 #58

Count the colors KamaAina Jun 2014 #59

I don't know about that.. butterfly77 Jun 2014 #67

There's the problem: you talked. Don't. randome Jun 2014 #73

Lol! butterfly77 Jun 2014 #74

maybe starbucks had the right idea with asking people for their name JI7 Jun 2014 #77

If there is a reason I need to know a stranger's gender, I'll ask. tridim Jun 2014 #79

I'm one of those unfortunate pipi_k Jun 2014 #86

ha, and if in doubt... see step 1. nilram Jun 2014 #85

Or, you could say, "Hey, SMILE!" WinkyDink Jun 2014 #87

I'm a grey haired white male. needledriver Jun 2014 #88