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In reply to the discussion: Rape Culture: One way to say yes, many ways to say no. [View all]LuvNewcastle
(16,820 posts)4. I know that rape and sexual assault are about power, but it also happens because
some people are so focused on their own desires that they don't notice the other person's reactions. It's selfishness. If you go out with someone with the basic purpose of getting laid instead of getting to know the other person and enjoying their company, it's easy to find yourself in a situation in which you're trying to talk your date into something that she/he had no intention of doing. Unless someone invites you over for a booty call or you've gotten signals from the other person that they want to get laid, you don't need to go out with people you're only interested in for sex.
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I know that rape and sexual assault are about power, but it also happens because
LuvNewcastle
Apr 2014
#4
Examples 1 & 3 certainly don't sound like rape scenarios. But if the guy's pushy all the time then
nomorenomore08
Apr 2014
#22
I disagree. She said no and instead of respecting that he pressed her on it. If she says no IT'S NO.
redqueen
Apr 2014
#32
"Treat anyone's no as negotiable, and you are enabling rape culture, pure and simple." <- BOOM
redqueen
Apr 2014
#43
But asking why someone is uncomfortable isn't necessarily enabling rape culture.
msanthrope
Apr 2014
#77
It's not necessarily a crime, or provable as one at least, but that doesn't make it okay to keep
nomorenomore08
Apr 2014
#65
So how does one tactfully say they don't want to be in a relationship with no sex?
Hippo_Tron
Apr 2014
#38
Why are you spending so much energy debating where the "line" is anyway?
nomorenomore08
Apr 2014
#66
I think "I do not want to date you" is a shitty way to break up with someone
Hippo_Tron
Apr 2014
#46
So if it's technically not rape by a strict legal definition, then it's a-okay?
nomorenomore08
Apr 2014
#70
And if in doubt, you can always ask. Merely saying "Is this okay?" shouldn't ruin the moment.
nomorenomore08
Apr 2014
#68