General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: So why exactly is "tone" or "approach" more important than actual issues that affect us all? [View all]Waiting For Everyman
(9,385 posts)"Tone" is a word used by the vocal feminist minority on DU. They like to frame the problem they're causing here in terms of tone in order to confuse it with "the tone argument", which is the term for a tactic used against women in real life but not applicable here.
Here we have rules and standards that define what kind of language we can use, and not use. Women don't have to talk nicer to anyone here to get promoted, for example, as it would be in the real world, or to voice their opinions. We all can do what anyone can do here regardless of gender, and tone won't do much to determine that, the rules do. Nicer tone might make someone more likable, but that's about it. So this is not a matter of "the tone argument" as it's used in feminist terms.
Tone really isn't the issue, per se, that most of us are complaining about. We are talking about abusive behavior, which is quite different. I don't need to spell out here what that is because all of us complaining about it know of course, and the vocal minority feminists know good and well because each of the many of us with complaints have told them in detail dozens of times. You could read this thread and see lots of examples right here, or any other thread on this subject, and even some other subjects too. They make it clear that they have no intention of stopping. We merely have to take it, they think.
What's ironic is, that in a very small metaphorical way (and I don't mean in any way to diminish rape by referring to it this way, but to illustrate a relevant point to make it understood better), what they are doing has similarities to rape, which they profess to advocate against. The bad behavior we're talking about, although very much different of course, also is forced on us after repeated and insistent objections are raised, and ruthlessly ignored.
So this is not about "nice words". This is about chronic, long term abusive behavior. And it's done in public because we all (who read this board) have to watch, and be party and victim to it.
Is that a problem? I think so. Does it have to happen? Nope. It's a choice, that a small number of people here make, and decide to do. That's all I have to say. Just want to make clear that tone is not what we're talking about. I went along with the thread "as is" because you included the word "approach" in the title which I took to cover it at first. But late it the thread the victimizers started pressing hard on reinforcing the nice/tone understanding of it, and that is NOT what this is.
The vocal minority feminists very much want to conflate our complaints about their abusive tactics with the tone argument, because then they can dismiss those complaints and persuade others to dismiss them too. They know full well that is what they are doing in trying so hard to confuse the issue. It's just another underhanded tactic in the long parade of them that we've seen.
As several posters said in the thread, the point of this effort on their part is to persuade the DU community to give them a "free pass" on their behavior when it's alerted to juries. They think that DU's standards don't apply to them. Most people don't seem to agree with that so far, fortunately, although some are understandably confused into it. The problem may take care of itself to some degree and become moot after the changes to DU's rules kick in, in a few days. I hope so, but it is still worthwhile understanding the psychological play that's being tried in our midst. Our awareness of it is the key thing that will keep it in check.