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Douglas Carpenter

(20,226 posts)
Sat Dec 21, 2013, 10:25 PM Dec 2013

Dear Phil (duck dynasty) Robertson, Thank you for educating people regarding God's Law [View all]

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1 : 9) . The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21: 7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.


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38 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I wish they would make that into a graphic! napkinz Dec 2013 #1
also from facebook.com/beingliberal.org napkinz Dec 2013 #2
Great poster.....n/t mercymechap Dec 2013 #5
from facebook.com/ConservativesAreDestroyingOurFuture napkinz Dec 2013 #3
Robertson is not going to be excused by cloaking his bigotry in religion. PM Martin Dec 2013 #4
Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #6
you're cute ... maybe we will get to keep you. Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2013 #7
Why did the writer quote Leviticus? BKH70041 Dec 2013 #8
This is the dichotomy....... you make sense..... they don't world wide wally Dec 2013 #10
Well, you're almost right... griloco Dec 2013 #11
See post #17 CthulhusEvilCousin Dec 2013 #18
Everyone who has ever had even a cursory exposure to Fundamentalist Protestants Douglas Carpenter Dec 2013 #12
Actually CthulhusEvilCousin Dec 2013 #17
that does not change the fact that the vast majority of Fundamentalist Protestants do rely on Douglas Carpenter Dec 2013 #19
Point taken CthulhusEvilCousin Dec 2013 #20
There is still no refernce to hell anywhere in the Old Testament and only the vaguest of Douglas Carpenter Dec 2013 #21
The quote I provided CthulhusEvilCousin Dec 2013 #22
the witch of Endor is about the only reference I can think of in the Old Testament - in regards to Douglas Carpenter Dec 2013 #24
Read here: CthulhusEvilCousin Dec 2013 #25
Huh? The OT doesn't count? progressoid Dec 2013 #13
I now give you one new commandment above all the rest.... world wide wally Dec 2013 #14
Unless you are a masochist. progressoid Dec 2013 #15
So the author of Romans also wrote the following, about Phil the Duck Guy: Bluenorthwest Dec 2013 #29
You are kidding, right? jmowreader Dec 2013 #37
It spelled with an o... God MattBaggins Dec 2013 #38
These Duck dudes are from Louisiana, right? SCVDem Dec 2013 #9
Bingo! I live in the 'moran' state of Louisiana . . . fleur-de-lisa Dec 2013 #34
This was originally sent to Dr. Laura years ago. Quixote1818 Dec 2013 #16
I read a Facebook / Duck guy Phil meme the other day which.... rppper Dec 2013 #23
This reminds me of a classic West Wing episode Gothmog Dec 2013 #26
God's Tweet napkinz Dec 2013 #27
K&R nt Zorra Dec 2013 #28
I'm looking forward to Phil's response. Martin Eden Dec 2013 #30
Thanks for the list. As Anne Lamotte said: catbyte Dec 2013 #31
K&R napkinz Dec 2013 #32
Juanita Jean has some good comments about Robertson Gothmog Dec 2013 #33
from Bartcop today ... napkinz Dec 2013 #35
posted by Americans Against The Tea Party ... napkinz Dec 2013 #36
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