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In reply to the discussion: Is it a person's "fault" if they're fat? What does that question really mean? [View all]Silent3
(15,128 posts)Part of what kept me fat for so long, I realize in retrospect, was an amazing amount of denial about how much weight I'd gained. I certainly knew I was overweight, but it hadn't fully sunk in that I'd definitely crossed into obesity. It might be fair to say that I "carried it well" for a while, but "carried it well" realistically might cover 20-30 lbs, not all of the 80-plus pounds that I've lost.
I got to the point where my knees were starting to bother me more and more often, where just getting up off the couch sometimes seemed like a bit too much effort, requiring leaning on the arm of the couch to help. I was snoring more, and began to catch myself exhibiting what I think was the start of a problem with sleep apnea. Getting in and out of my car was starting to seem like a bigger deal that it should be. Bending over to tie my shoes became an uncomfortable strain.
It still took my wife's purchase of a new bathroom scale, and seeing 263 come up after having not weighed myself for some time, to finally push me over the edge, to take my then-brewing plan to start eating better and to exercise and actually start it the next day.
To some extent I had feared exercising and losing weight again because I'd suffered badly from clinical depression during the first span in my life, during my 30s, when I'd first become fit and thin. It turns out there is such a thing as "exercise-induced depression", so my fear might have been partly justifiable, but I think it also became a rationalization for me too.
Fortunately this time around I've not experienced any such problems. Either the depression I experienced before was unrelated and coincidental, or something about my new approach to eating and exercise doesn't cause the same problem.
I'll admit there's certainly a component of vanity to my desire for weight loss. Fair or unfair that our social conventions might be, it does feel good to know a lot more people around you think you look good, and plenty even say so. That wouldn't have been enough to make me work as hard as I have to lose weight... but it helps!