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Wait Wut

(8,492 posts)
37. I thought of doing this a long time ago.
Thu Jan 31, 2013, 04:37 PM
Jan 2013

I became ordained through ULC just so I could marry one of my closest friends (my sister, by soul) and her partner. Well, that didn't work out (it's a good thing).

Now, I've got this piece of paper and nowhere to go. Years ago, when they threatened Twinkies the first time, I was going to start the Church of the Holy Snack Cake. Not because I like Twinkies, I hate them, but I felt that it was an American tradition and was threatening our freedom or sumthin'.

I'd be willing to be co-pastorette. I'd even be willing to supply the sake (I don't like wine).

Edit: You'll have to drop the Packers thing though. Otherwise, Sundays will be a little tense. /ahem Bears fan.

I Need Fifteen Followers!! [View all] Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 OP
Hahaha! I'm in! babylonsister Jan 2013 #1
You're my first disciple... Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #3
If you swear your allegiance to me, I will send you a certificate of living Sainthood. reverend_tim Jan 2013 #59
Oh, jeeze, now you tell me? Can babylonsister Jan 2013 #72
In my Denomination a big bottle of Sapphire and Canada Dry tonic water can get you all most anything reverend_tim Feb 2013 #106
just the mention of discount pizza was good enough quinnox Jan 2013 #2
Can you sweeten the pot any? LisaLynne Jan 2013 #4
Perhaps a nice miracle would do the trick... Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #12
I can offer legal pot, and gay marriage and lots of rain !! reverend_tim Jan 2013 #46
Mmmm... Sunday potluck Blue Owl Jan 2013 #81
I think your denomination is the one for me BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2013 #100
Me too! :D darkangel218 Jan 2013 #5
Forget Monsignor, I'm definitely in, and admire a pastor with a great sense of humor. Gawd bless. monmouth3 Jan 2013 #6
Hell, I'm in. nick of time Jan 2013 #7
Fuck yes...(nt) Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #13
Fuckin A sweet!!!!! nick of time Jan 2013 #16
Have you picked a name for our new church though? darkangel218 Jan 2013 #8
That's a VERY good question Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #15
Lmao!!!!! darkangel218 Jan 2013 #19
This message was self-deleted by its author freshwest Jan 2013 #67
You had me at Mojo Nixon. Starry Messenger Jan 2013 #82
Elvis is Everywhere! BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2013 #101
I'm too far away to attend services. bluedigger Jan 2013 #9
Ummm....sure. Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #21
Unfortunately, I can't get to the bus stop, either. bluedigger Jan 2013 #24
I hate snakes... Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #25
do you require any sort of sacrifice in your church? Voice for Peace Jan 2013 #74
I'm in! Those bastards in Winnipeg have it coming! nt joeybee12 Jan 2013 #10
Do you take Atheists? Control-Z Jan 2013 #11
God knows we do...(nt) Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #17
Do you accept Papa John's? Lone_Star_Dem Jan 2013 #14
Actually, the road to hell is paved with Papa John's coupons Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #18
Preach it Reverend Jeff! Or is it Pastor Jeff? Lone_Star_Dem Jan 2013 #39
I claim the title of "Pandit and Life Coach" Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #40
Pandit and Life Coach Jeff, you've earned my premium pizza coupons Lone_Star_Dem Jan 2013 #51
me kristamonroe Jan 2013 #20
Just reassure me I'll not be #13...just hip-pocket my email app before or after...K? libdem4life Jan 2013 #22
and talk like a physicist day is the 14th.. that might be a conflict too Voice for Peace Jan 2013 #75
Winnipeg? No way. hfojvt Jan 2013 #23
Wait. Wait, just a minute. I'm having a vision. Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #31
good call hfojvt Feb 2013 #111
I'm pretty sure the weighed heavily in Yahweh's decision (nt) Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #114
OK, you converted me with that one. Le Taz Hot Feb 2013 #112
We in Detroit... N_E_1 for Tennis Feb 2013 #119
Can I be Bishop In Charge of Selling Indulgences and Other Naughty Things? LondonReign2 Jan 2013 #26
Get in line... Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #34
Branch of Flying Spaghetti Monsters? I'm in. matt819 Jan 2013 #27
I'm in!!!! cliffordu Jan 2013 #28
Don't forget housing credit on income taxes. Lars39 Jan 2013 #29
Do I have to be circumcised? Canuckistanian Jan 2013 #30
I dunno...do you WANT to be? Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #32
I think Canadians, and only Canadians, MUST be circumcised. OneGrassRoot Jan 2013 #44
And the foreskins turned into toques Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #47
I shall follow you anywhere. n/t OneGrassRoot Jan 2013 #52
Count me in. ellie Jan 2013 #33
No worries. I suck as a leader. Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #35
Rec'd Not Me Jan 2013 #36
I thought of doing this a long time ago. Wait Wut Jan 2013 #37
Drop the Packers? Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #41
The Church of 15 Minutes already has a Packers/Bears schism! myrna minx Jan 2013 #43
100 points for having Nicaea, schism, and Sheboygan in the same post! Gotta love DU. FailureToCommunicate Jan 2013 #48
I can't WAIT till we start burning heretics Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #50
Are Packers fans a 'green' energy source? FailureToCommunicate Jan 2013 #54
We won't know till we try... Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #55
This message was self-deleted by its author CrazyOrangeCat Jan 2013 #66
I'm in 2naSalit Jan 2013 #38
I think calling this an organized religion theKed Jan 2013 #83
Good point 2naSalit Jan 2013 #84
I'm in!!! OneGrassRoot Jan 2013 #42
Before I become a card carrying member...I have a couple of questions Sheepshank Jan 2013 #45
Your answers Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #49
Oh, you is butiful siligut Jan 2013 #77
I am in. And I think the services should resemble poker games rurallib Jan 2013 #53
And there would be dogs... Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #56
This has been fun, but I have to go. Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #57
Are your parishioners permitted to use sacramental marijuana? Jackpine Radical Jan 2013 #58
Thou shalt not bogart. benld74 Jan 2013 #60
Is this going to be one of those snort Jan 2013 #61
I need fifteen leaders.... I mean liters..... 2on2u Jan 2013 #62
Sacramental BEER!!! Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #94
Liberate Medicine Hat and Moose Jaw! Onward Jefftian soldiers! tclambert Jan 2013 #63
LOL I was going to say the same thing.... A HERETIC I AM Jan 2013 #78
I'm in because this is the funniest thread I've read on DU Lifelong Protester Jan 2013 #64
This message was self-deleted by its author freshwest Jan 2013 #65
"Eternal life". Hmmm...I don't think Social Security is going to be happy about that. Fire Walk With Me Jan 2013 #68
Bless me solara Jan 2013 #69
Where do I sign up? Freedomofspeech Jan 2013 #70
As a Catholic, I got a kick out of this! UrbScotty Jan 2013 #71
I'm with ya (here's the correct link). Snarkoleptic Jan 2013 #73
BLASPHEMERS!! BLASPHEMERS!! SouthernDonkey Jan 2013 #76
You wearing anything UNDER that manskirt? Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #95
Ramen to that reverend_tim Feb 2013 #108
Wyyyy nothing of course! SouthernDonkey Feb 2013 #121
You had me at Spirochete Jan 2013 #79
The Church of the Subgenius won't let me leave to join you... TexasTowelie Jan 2013 #80
Aw, shucks . . . Bob's a reasonable guy. CrazyOrangeCat Jan 2013 #89
I've been a member since 1986 so it would be tougher to leave than Katie Holmes ditching Tom. TexasTowelie Jan 2013 #97
Autumn, the crazy orange cat keeps asking me that, too. CrazyOrangeCat Jan 2013 #99
Wait! Wait! you're forgetting southern_belle Jan 2013 #85
just use your immediate family or friends and give everyone a 10% tax shelter. NuttyFluffers Jan 2013 #86
So, 75 'DU RECS' ...do we count as a group yet? Earth_First Jan 2013 #87
When your followers guardian Jan 2013 #88
The concubine budget is a little tight right now... Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #98
LOL that's great guardian Jan 2013 #104
We do weddings, you know (nt) Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #105
Are you gonna franchise? nt msanthrope Jan 2013 #90
themonastary.org already does reverend_tim Feb 2013 #110
Cool. How about a church circle? We all create our own churches and join each other's Egalitarian Thug Jan 2013 #91
Our Lady-Goat of the Wholly Ponzi Scheme BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2013 #102
Works for me reverend_tim Feb 2013 #107
only if your gawd isn't the RIGHT gawd. BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #115
O Holy Jeff! CrazyOrangeCat Jan 2013 #92
You're on the payroll! Jeff In Milwaukee Jan 2013 #96
Ticketers will be violated--I mean, uh, Jackpine Radical Jan 2013 #103
The Kardashian Family are a church obamanut2012 Jan 2013 #93
How about 15 men on a dead man's chest? Art_from_Ark Feb 2013 #109
Funniest damned thread in a LONG time. Le Taz Hot Feb 2013 #113
As His Most Gracious, Holy, Infallible Keeper Of All Secrets Of The Universe Pope Ikonoklast I, Ikonoklast Feb 2013 #116
I will follow you unless there is Kool-Aid involved. AllyCat Feb 2013 #117
The consumption of non-alcoholic beverages is expressly forbidden (nt) Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #122
I would like to join but I am already a pope, got a card and everything Dragonfli Feb 2013 #118
K&R SunSeeker Feb 2013 #120
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