General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Slain woman predicted her own death [View all]Honeycombe8
(37,648 posts)How best to do that. No one but you is saying this is a discussion about guns. It's not. If someone isn't comfortable with guns or doesn't know how to use them, they shouldn't get one.
But the facts, whether you like them or not, are:
1. The law can only imprison someone for a certain length of time for certain crimes. If someone is found guilty of breaking a restraining order or of assault, they'll spend time in jail. But the law does not allow a life sentence for those crimes. He will get out.
2. The law cannot protect you very well from a crime that hasn't been committed yet.
3. A lot of abusers who get out of jail, return to abuse or kill the objects of their obsession. Some don't. The police are not allowed, by law, to arrest someone for attempted murder just because someone thinks he may try to do that. That is against the law.
4. Even if you call the police, when the abuser shows up at your place of work or in a parking lot where you are, they probably can't get there before the abuser assaults you or does whatever he's there to do.
Ultimately, it's up to us all to take all precautions, use the law to its fullest, and where the law stops, do all we can to protect and defend ourselves. It's not about placing blame AFTER you've been killed. The point is to prevent it, to begin with.
How you protect yourself is up to you. There are a number of things a person can do. But nothing is 100%. If someone wants to get to you, he probably will. But you should realize you're in a war with a loco obsessive monster who is determined to kill you, and act accordingly for self-defense and protection.
And of course, at the first signs of violence against you, or overly control freakiness, you should drop a boyfriend. And for goodness' sake, don't put yourself in a position to be financially dependent on him. It's a red flag if he insists you be financially dependent on him.