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(but the "I'll take anybody's speed" make me chuckle...lol)
Everyone's situation is different, so I don't presume to know what you're going through, but I've been through a similar situation and didn't have the beautiful setting in which to rebuild. You really are in a beautiful place...what a gift... though I COMPLETELY hear you about not being able to really appreciate it yet.
One minute at a time. That's all you can do. Take it one minute at a time and be as gentle with yourself as possible. Let me know when you need some hugs, or even a phone chat. My daughter was going to school in Seattle until last year; if she were still there, I'd send her over as a hug surrogate. 
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