General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Rape more Common than Smoking in the US [View all]salin
(48,955 posts)I can't say that it helped me. And I don't see how it could have helped others. Surviving is step one, healing (which involves *good* therapy is another) is a different thing altogether. These discussions contribute nothing to that.
However, for most of us - we want to see this cycle end. We want to see the number of victims decrease and the number of people who have to work through both survival and healing decrease. That is where this discussion has been both terribly disturbing (stirring up very deep-seeded emotions with some of the disturbing posts - that both serve as reminders of that initial violation - and of the fact that the situation still volatile for current and future generations.) and then - encouraging - given the ratio of supportive:defensive:dismissive posters. I don't know that the ratio would have been the same when I first came to DU more than a decade ago. I *know* the ratio would have been different two decades ago.
Point is - this doesn't help healing. I have had off line conversations with other survivors. This has been a very upsetting and disturbing set of days. Triggers have been sent off from so many directions. However, at least for those of us whose healing has been long underway - the discomfort hasn't been like scabs being pulled off (just general sick feelings). The shaking came not from being back in the throes of the rape - but in the waves of disgust that so many younger people will still at the same level of risk - and still had to face these life-altering circumstances. The utter frustration and dismay at that reality.
Then - as the threads emerged and discussions occured - there is hopefulness. Not for me, not for other survivors (though a greater societal understanding of what survival means is good), but for our collective and protective hope for the next generations. THAT has been productive - and has smoothed over all of the earlier jitteriness and ill feelings that emerged in some of us survivors when these discussions began.