i am a mother. i had the talk. doesnt have to come from the father, though that is good stuff. (Reply #34)

In the discussion thread: The truth about what young men knew about rape years ago. [View all]

Response to redgreenandblue (Reply #10)

Fri Nov 30, 2012, 10:40 AM

seabeyond (110,159 posts)

34. i am a mother. i had the talk. doesnt have to come from the father, though that is good stuff.

but, and adult that is respected and trustworthy, a kid will listen. discuss. and think.

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106 replies	Author	Time	Post
The truth about what young men knew about rape years ago. [View all]	MineralMan	Nov 2012	OP
The many dismissive posts about rape even here on DU indicate that not all men got the message.	yardwork	Nov 2012	#1
That's true. Like most people, I encountered boys and men who	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#3
Why do you assume you know what this wide circle was up to...	bettyellen	Nov 2012	#79
The inference that young women should know the moral	sufrommich	Nov 2012	#12
that	heaven05	Nov 2012	#45
I didn't get a "talk" from anybody...	snooper2	Nov 2012	#2
Yes. You were brought up to respect others.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#5
This	cherokeeprogressive	Nov 2012	#35
Same message I got fifteen years later,	MadHound	Nov 2012	#4
Ah, the contraception talk came later.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#8
Yes, that was pretty much the same message I got	Still Sensible	Nov 2012	#6
that one hits the nail on the head	liberal_at_heart	Nov 2012	#15
This message was self-deleted by its author	freshwest	Nov 2012	#63
Actually, I think that was pretty radical advice, and very well stated.	enough	Nov 2012	#7
Could be. My father was, and is, a great person.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#11
I'm the same age as you.	maddiemom	Nov 2012	#67
I got the talk to be careful at parties	gollygee	Nov 2012	#9
Yes. That's the other side of the equation.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#16
This is the kind of story I hear:	gollygee	Nov 2012	#19
People who participate in such things are sociopaths,	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#21
Only 4% of the population meets the definition of sociopaths	gollygee	Nov 2012	#22
Stories like that one are true, and have been around since always.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#24
It's a minority	gollygee	Nov 2012	#25
I have no way to measure the size of that minority, though.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#32
There have been lots of studies	gollygee	Nov 2012	#37
One thing about group psychology, sociopathy, and rape that needs to be considered.	Springslips	Nov 2012	#55
You're right that sociopaths are sometimes leaders, and	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#57
That is a good point.	Chemisse	Nov 2012	#84
But the OP is fooling himself, just because he'd	bettyellen	Nov 2012	#86
Many of us would prefer to think that despicable behavior is uncommon.	Chemisse	Nov 2012	#89
Easy way out. Way too common for men to think they shld give bros	bettyellen	Nov 2012	#90
This message was self-deleted by its author	freshwest	Nov 2012	#66
societal rules were stricter back then	liberal_at_heart	Nov 2012	#17
Back when?	gollygee	Nov 2012	#20
this is a good topic but I'm exhausted	liberal_at_heart	Nov 2012	#26
Cool. I always wondered what "The talk" was.	redgreenandblue	Nov 2012	#10
i am a mother. i had the talk. doesnt have to come from the father, though that is good stuff.	seabeyond	Nov 2012	#34
You were quite fortunate your dad spoke to you about it.	steve2470	Nov 2012	#13
I imagine there will always be some for whom there is no way	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#14
My daughter and I have already been educating my 11yo grandson. Thanks MM. nt	Mnemosyne	Nov 2012	#18
Excellent. Your grandson is lucky! nt	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#28
If he ever harms a woman, his mother will explode and he might not survive it! nt	Mnemosyne	Nov 2012	#58
You had a pretty cool dad.	Baitball Blogger	Nov 2012	#23
I still do. He's 88 years old, now, and so is my mother.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#27
both my boys have had that "talk" also. well before they got into a position of making their own way	seabeyond	Nov 2012	#29
Good job. I knew that from previous discussions.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#33
Curious...do you remember hearing of any rape trials	Lars39	Nov 2012	#30
Yes. The town I grew up in had just 6000 people or so.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#36
Having grown up in a very similar small town	Lars39	Nov 2012	#38
I'm sure you are right. The question I was answering had to	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#39
I did not get that talk from my father	RomneyLies	Nov 2012	#31
Your Father was a wise man	get the red out	Nov 2012	#40
He was, and is.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#41
I never got the talk. Never needed it.	Bonobo	Nov 2012	#42
I agree. Some people don't pay attention to what they	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#43
Sociopathy is not knowing that it's wrong in the first place	wickerwoman	Nov 2012	#59
I agree, this pulling "4% who are sociopaths" is dismissive and	bettyellen	Nov 2012	#78
Post removed	Post removed	Nov 2012	#44
Bull-fucking-shit.	Iggo	Nov 2012	#46
Post removed	Post removed	Nov 2012	#81
What an ugly, uncalled-for reply. Perhaps you should avail yourself of the ignore feature,	apocalypsehow	Nov 2012	#69
Post removed	Post removed	Nov 2012	#80
I win.	Iggo	Nov 2012	#87
No you didn't.	demmiblue	Nov 2012	#92
She pulled a bullshit stat out of her ass and I called her on it.	Iggo	Nov 2012	#94
Your edit is admirable.	demmiblue	Nov 2012	#100
My father told me	ismnotwasm	Nov 2012	#47
That old saying never was true.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#48
I never believed it	ismnotwasm	Nov 2012	#51
That is sad.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#52
as you said, most men and boys know. but I was thinking about that cretin rivard, whose father	niyad	Nov 2012	#49
Sociopathy generates more sociopathy.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#50
I think it's a little too pat to blame all rape on sociopaths	Chemisse	Nov 2012	#93
Another note: Sociopaths know that what they	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#53
I started first grade in 1960...	SouthernLiberal	Nov 2012	#54
Hmm. I have no experience with Catholic schools.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#56
My husband was told at a young age no means no.	kimbutgar	Nov 2012	#60
Trying to force oneself on another is wrong, too.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#62
Bless your father	wryter2000	Nov 2012	#61
You had a good father	treestar	Nov 2012	#64
I often envy my daughter's generation where young women can have sexual	maddiemom	Nov 2012	#65
Yes. We're of about the same age.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#68
It hasn't gone away.	LadyHawkAZ	Nov 2012	#96
Remember that group of popular high school boys some years ago who named themselves the	tblue37	Nov 2012	#70
I don't actually remember that, but it's not surprising.	MineralMan	Nov 2012	#71
I couldnt agree more that	marions ghost	Nov 2012	#72
The Spur Posse	wickerwoman	Nov 2012	#73
Yes, "Spur Posse." I don't know why I couldn't come up	tblue37	Nov 2012	#74
Getting it out of movies and other mainstream media	LadyHawkAZ	Nov 2012	#75
Not Oprah	obamanut2012	Nov 2012	#98
In any situation in which there is an imbalance in power, the greater the imbalance, the greater the	patrice	Nov 2012	#76
Considering the statistics on rape... maybe not most but many boys did and do rape.	KittyWampus	Nov 2012	#77
I know maybe 4 women who weren't raped or sexually molested. Maybe 4.	Butterbean	Nov 2012	#82
What a great way to phrase it.	Chemisse	Nov 2012	#83
I never had "the talk"	unreadierLizard	Nov 2012	#85
There aren't ANY "all men rape" posts - just a bunch of men	bettyellen	Nov 2012	#95
I dunno	unreadierLizard	Nov 2012	#99
Women have explained in detail here that at times	bettyellen	Dec 2012	#102
I don't know about anyone else	unreadierLizard	Dec 2012	#106
Glad you had this experience.	MadrasT	Nov 2012	#88
Major kudos to your pop, MM!	AverageJoe90	Nov 2012	#91
K&R n/t	JoeyT	Nov 2012	#97
Not all young men	LadyHawkAZ	Nov 2012	#101
Thanks for that, MM.	Hekate	Dec 2012	#103
Growing up	Separation	Dec 2012	#104
Yes. Like most people, I went to a lot of parties in college.	MineralMan	Dec 2012	#105

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