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(171,270 posts)
Thu Jun 13, 2024, 07:44 AM Jun 13

"We can disagree and still be friends". No. No, we can't. [View all]

Is lack of punctuation a thing now? While I approve this message, I am too old to omit things I've used all my life, like apostrophes.


"We can disagree and still be friends". No. No, we can't.
Wednesday, June 12, 2024 at 4:30:47p EDT

I just posted this on FB. Im posting it here. Feel free to post it elsewhere. People need to understand what is being asked of them in the name of friendship.


There seem to be more and more posts about how we can disagree about politics and individual politicians and still be friends.

Or, maybe they take the politics out and say that we SHOULD be able to disagree and still be friends.
And, sure, yeah, we SHOULD. But, no, we can't. Not any more.

Because this isn't a question of whether you prefer chocolate ice cream or vanilla.

This is a question of fundamental civil rights. And can be a question of life and death.

Letz take the abortion just to start, cuz Im sick of making this just about queers. Itz about queers too. Itz about EVERYTHING. But letz just start with abortion.

If this was a "we disagree, but we can be friends" stance, your conservative friend would be saying, "abortion isnt right for me, but, hey, you do what's right for you."

They're not saying that.

They are saying "abortion isnt right for me, therefore, abortion should be illegal for you".

It doesnt matter to them what you think under normal circumstances. It doesnt matter to them what you think under extreme circumstances. It doesnt matter to them what you are going through in REAL LIFE, their hypothetical overrides everything.

They may modify their hypothetical to incorporate particular arguments, like, rape and incest, or to save your life, if they think that will make things more palatable for now.

But it doesnt matter how they modify their hypothetical to win you over. However they modify their stance now can change again tomorrow. Because it isnt real. And while you are trying to pin them down on precisely which rights you are allowed in which circumstances, NONE OF THAT IS THE POINT.


And theres no friendship possible if you have to change the way *YOU* LIVE to suit *THEIR* HYPOTHETICAL.

It's not just abortion. It's every touchpoint in your life. Birth. Death. Marriage. What you wear. What you read. What sports you get to play. Where you get to pee.

And then, whatever they decide is next. Because, it wasn't that long ago that women-of-child-bearing-years were prohibited from working particular jobs, thatz *sure* to come back. There are "child endangerment" issues concerning what you can do while pregnant. Like lifting heavy objects. Women are going to jail/prison for having a miscarriage. This isn't theoretical. This is happening.

And, who knows what comes next? There's always SOMETHING on the horizon. Maybe they'll start hating on Dick van Dyke or Dolly Parton. You cant control what they are going to start saying isnt ok, or is mandatory.

This is just starting. And once it starts, there is no stopping it: *nothing* is out of bounds.

There IS no "You respect me; I respect you" which is what the entire basis of friendship is.


It is "You respect me; I *control* you"

Thatz not friendship. That can be a kinda fun S&M game. But that isnt real life friendship.


Real life friendship is that we are equals here. I may or may not approve of everything that you do, but I support your right to manage your own life how it seems best to you so long as we can agree on certain basics like "dont rob the corner liquor store".

They dont want to agree on anything. They dont want to negotiate anything. And they dont want to *support* you in ANYTHING.

That isnt in their playbook.

Their playbook is “YOU PLAY BY MY RULES”. Or, in plainspeak, "I get to make YOUR life what *I* say is ok."

F*ck that.
F*ck them.
And really, if it comes right down to it, f*ck that friendship.
Because itz not a friendship at all.

Itz a framing issue to guilt you into forfeiting Very Important Rights. Rights which, once gone, will never come back.

103 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Yeah, i'm gonna have to disagree with you on thatat Fullduplexxx Jun 13 #1
You do realize that "cant" without the apostrophe is a separate word with niyad Jun 13 #12
You do realise that in English VMA131Marine Jun 13 #31
Can there be a can there? n/t Harker Jun 13 #34
Ever so many MadLinguist Jun 13 #35
Perhaps more importantly... Harker Jun 13 #37
Enough of your smut there fella,... magicarpet Jun 13 #54
For the benefit of the children, I will not tell any jokes! Harker Jun 13 #55
Do you realize you need to respect your home language? the language of science worldwide? Language is thought. ancianita Jun 13 #81
REALISE is the English spelling Skittles Jun 13 #85
Trying to eliminate apostrophes is like playing Whack-A-Mole. Mister Ed Jun 13 #50
😂 Fullduplexxx Jun 13 #57
That also drives me crazy. niyad Jun 13 #76
Ha! They're everywhere! babylonsister Jun 13 #87
Cant Mblaze Jun 13 #59
Wow bummer ....nt Fullduplexxx Jun 13 #60
I've read this whole section of the thread and I've got one question. Trueblue Texan Jun 14 #97
Are you having difficulty following the discussion? niyad Jun 14 #102
yes nt Trueblue Texan Jun 24 #103
I had a friend who would say "I'll pray for you" whenever we disagreed on these issues. sop Jun 13 #2
Not much of a friend. Baitball Blogger Jun 13 #8
That's the fundie equivalent of "bless your heart" in the South. TwilightZone Jun 13 #13
"I'll pray for you" while you burn at the stake. sop Jun 13 #19
That's when you should reply Xavier Breath Jun 13 #17
Perfect. I gonna use that mountain grammy Jun 13 #24
LOVE this. What a great response! calimary Jun 13 #72
"Yeah...god got with me about that. He said... ret5hd Jun 13 #27
Reminds me of something Oprah said! BlueKota Jun 13 #36
Exactly! Goddessartist Jun 13 #3
I don't just say it to Republicans BlueKota Jun 13 #39
100% Goddessartist Jun 13 #41
Nope IbogaProject Jun 13 #80
I'm with you. Joinfortmill Jun 13 #4
If you vote for Trump and Republicans to end democracy, then no you will not be my friend. Lonestarblue Jun 13 #5
Well,... aren't you just the cantankerous one to deal with. magicarpet Jun 13 #68
I am an old crank 😝, too old to put up with the garbage spouted by the MAGA crowd! LOL Lonestarblue Jun 13 #74
I take this as a sign that some of... Hugin Jun 13 #6
We can disagree and still be family, but we can't be friends. Croney Jun 13 #7
They're trying to kill us and make things horrible or impossible for women and minorities. onecaliberal Jun 13 #9
I'm with you on that. CaptainTruth Jun 13 #38
Apostrophes, and learning how to spell. . "itz". ."letz". .grrrrr. niyad Jun 13 #10
Apparently we were typing our comments at the same time PatSeg Jun 13 #15
Perhaps it is deliberate, to entice slower reading and contemplation. Hermit-The-Prog Jun 13 #75
All it entices me to do is leave. niyad Jun 13 #78
Ha! Ur knot won uv thu target's. :D Hermit-The-Prog Jun 13 #88
You can come out now. I put my ruler away! niyad Jun 13 #91
I agree with the sentiment of the article PatSeg Jun 13 #11
As a former editor, all of that jumped out in flashing red neon, a most niyad Jun 13 #16
Yes and if it is excessive, PatSeg Jun 13 #18
Yes, I stop listening as well. Texting, or social media, or whatever, is niyad Jun 13 #22
I make my share of mistakes, PatSeg Jun 13 #47
He even messed up the title. The period after "friends" belongs inside the quotation mark. n/t thesquanderer Jun 13 #62
Oh yes, I missed that one PatSeg Jun 13 #65
yes Skittles Jun 13 #84
It is a shame PatSeg Jun 13 #90
it is a huge pet peeve of mine Skittles Jun 13 #92
Or even "coz"!!! niyad Jun 13 #94
don't get me started on WELP Skittles Jun 14 #98
Agreed. However, "welp" is actually the correct word in some instances, none niyad Jun 14 #100
from google Skittles Jun 14 #101
That is unnerving PatSeg Jun 13 #95
I admit my dad quite the fanatic too Skittles Jun 14 #99
In short: "why should I respect you if you won't respect me" unblock Jun 13 #14
Hard to make nice with people that say "the only good democrat and liberal is a dead democrat and liberal". Hotler Jun 13 #20
Already have n/t gay texan Jun 13 #79
No - it becomes about values and deep belief in lies - so I cannot be friends with repubs. No way. NewHendoLib Jun 13 #21
It's that power bullshit. chouchou Jun 13 #23
Beyond that DownriverDem Jun 13 #25
Have you ever heard Kumbaya? We could all sit in a circle on the floor and hum a few bars. magicarpet Jun 13 #69
I friended some high school pals on FB a few years ago after a reunion. I've unfriended most of them since. CrispyQ Jun 13 #26
I was friended by my HS boyfriend Freddie Jun 13 #30
How depressing! PatSeg Jun 13 #49
Yeah I know what you mean PatSeg Jun 13 #48
OMGs I was just having this 'discussion' with my 'landlord'! OldBaldy1701E Jun 13 #28
I'm no fan of Barry Goldwater, but I agree with this statement and it applies to this post ... aggiesal Jun 13 #29
Nor am I. Harker Jun 13 #56
One is friends SweetT Jun 13 #32
I would say Wow, such a sister. And you're right, you don't put your friends and family in such unnecessary peril, SWBTATTReg Jun 13 #52
I have a high school reunion this year & not going - TBF Jun 13 #33
That's the reason I quit Facebook after January 6th FakeNoose Jun 13 #43
I'm early Gen X - TBF Jun 13 #46
No. No we can't. Paladin Jun 13 #40
Me too, including my idiot brother who went down the hole. 617Blue Jun 13 #45
They think they are guided by their "religion" FakeNoose Jun 13 #42
their "religion" is very selective Skittles Jun 13 #86
There is no equivalency. nt 617Blue Jun 13 #44
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, just not their own set of facts. bluesbassman Jun 13 #51
Yeah, I find it a bit hard to be friends with people who would like to shoot me in the street hadEnuf Jun 13 #53
Comments Old Okie Jun 13 #58
Goddess forfend that people comment on things that are important to them, niyad Jun 13 #93
If you support Trump, you don't want me to be your friend. hay rick Jun 13 #61
omg! love your first line: orleans Jun 13 #67
Good rant. Liberal In Texas Jun 13 #63
We probably could...but "they" definitely can't... Wounded Bear Jun 13 #64
Well, they see the word "abortion" as a euphemism for the "m" word Model35mech Jun 13 #66
Once they get their foot in the door and sieze the territory,.. magicarpet Jun 13 #70
Never been able to thread the logic of "agree to disagree." Both options seem absolute. allegorical oracle Jun 13 #71
Totally glossing over the important point (which I agree with), and being a language snob instead... Silent3 Jun 13 #73
Being friends with magats, not a chance. With just plain republicans either for that matter. brush Jun 13 #77
Where I live, if I live by that rule I'll be a very lonely person. oldsoftie Jun 13 #82
No we can't. Righteous Evolve Dammit Jun 13 #83
My ex has family that vote for DT. 58Sunliner Jun 13 #89
It's like a friend telling you,... Trueblue Texan Jun 13 #96
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