Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

General Discussion

Showing Original Post only (View all)

demmiblue

(37,082 posts)
Tue May 21, 2024, 10:59 AM May 21

My heart is broken💔... No one should ever have to hear their wife say: "Get this dead baby out of me!". [View all]

My heart is broken💔: As friends & family know, my wife was pregnant with our 2nd child, & about to begin her 2nd trimester. A few days ago she had severe pains, & bleeding, and had to go to the emergency room. There, it was discovered that our baby no longer had a heartbeat. Devastated doesn't come close to what that feels like.

Unfortunately for people like us, because of the current laws in the state of Texas, that was only the beginning of this nightmare. Jess (my wife) had an "incomplete miscarriage", and what needed to happen, what was best for HER, and her health, was to terminate the pregnancy, and get the baby out.

The doctor gave her a medication that would move this process along, and sent her home. Where, apparently we would be handling it ourselves. We were told it might take a couple of attempts before it worked.

I'll let you decide how you feel about that.

After a long, painful night of the equivalent of early labor, the baby was still with her. So, we went back to the Emergency Center to get the 2nd dose. A new doctor was on call. He was an older man. You could hear him in the hallway as he said, "I'm not giving her a pill so she can go home and have an ab*rtion!". Being well aware that our baby no longer had a heartbeat. Then, he came into the room to say, and I quote: "Considering the current stance. I'm not going to prescribe you this pill". Then, just sent us on our way.

The "CURRENT STANCE"?! Did he really just say that?!

No one should ever have to hear their wife say: "Get this dead baby out of me!".

Can you even imagine how that must feel?

The pain, and the bleeding continued. So, we decided to go to another hospital, about an hour away. There was a female doctor on call there, and we thought we might have better luck.

I should probably mention, the procedure to get the baby out is called a D & C. It's scary, & traumatizing, but sometimes necessary in situations like ours. Especially in emergency circumstances.

So we get to the next hospital. They take Jess in, ask her a bunch of questions, do a new scan... confirm that the baby is still there, with no heartbeat, and then disappear... for hours. Only to come back in and keep asking the same questions over and over. It's becoming clear that they're primary concern is NOT my wife's health. Instead, they seem to be worried about the legalities involved.

So, they decide it is not "enough of an emergency" to perform the D & C.

They do, however, prescribe another, stronger, final dose of the medication for us to try again... at home.

So, we go home to try again. Another long day/night of early labor pains. Only to discover my wife UNCONSCIOUS in the bathroom. Having to pick my wife's cold, limp body off of that bathroom floor, not sure if I was about to lose her, is something I will NEVER forget.

She had to be rushed to the hospital.

By this point she had lost so much blood, and bodily fluid, her body gave out.

They were able to stabilize her, give her the fluids she needed, and we came back home yesterday afternoon. We were also able to confirm that our baby was no longer with her.

Now, not only do we have to live with the loss of our baby... we have to live with the nightmare of what we just experienced because of political and religious beliefs. MY WIFE'S HEALTH SHOULD HAVE COME FIRST. PERIOD!

God knows what mental and emotional damage this has done.

If you consider yourself a staunch "pro-lifer" ... 1) You've never been through what we just went through, and 2) You should take a long, hard look in the mirror and reevaluate your reasons for supporting such a cold, barbaric, ignorant point of view.
It's not that black & white, and it's never going to be.

If you think your "Pray To End Ab*rtion" sign in your yard is "Christian", I suggest you revisit the teachings of Jesus and try again. If you support these laws that make ab*rtion illegal, and result in people being put through what we just were, you should be ashamed of yourself. I've never been so angry, or heartbroken... and the devastation I'm feeling must pale in comparison to what my poor wife is feeling.




56 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
I lost two advanced pregnancies...one was due to food poisoning...I was less than a month from birth... Demsrule86 May 21 #1
Jesus Christ - I'm really sorry to hear that. Thank God you made it. peppertree May 21 #13
Thanks for sharing your sad stories FakeNoose May 21 #18
Hugs and tears. I'm sorry. Oopsie Daisy May 21 #22
My Gosh Dorian Gray May 22 #52
Sad testimony to the insane situation we're dealing with. Baitball Blogger May 21 #2
You are Rebl2 May 21 #3
That is so freaking sad and wrong. nt 1WorldHope May 21 #4
This is what happens when no-medical people make medical laws. Absolutely Absurd. Srkdqltr May 21 #5
Wishy Washy Catch 22 MagickMuffin May 21 #6
It's irrelevant whether there's a heartbeat or not FakeNoose May 21 #19
I was getting ready to say the same thing. ShazzieB May 21 #32
Only when it comes to the timing of the ban does the "heartbeat" matter. Mariana May 22 #54
The doctors should be sued for malpractice. LiberalFighter May 21 #7
Expand the Supreme Court January 21st. rubbersole May 21 #8
If we have the house and senate NanaCat May 21 #40
So even a dead baby takes precedence over a live woman. Biophilic May 21 #9
Of course. It's more cruel that way. peppertree May 21 #11
Dead people do have more rights than a live woman. OMGWTF May 21 #12
Well, sure - the dead don't annoy Repug Bible thumpers. Women, on the other hand, do. peppertree May 21 #16
So. Much. Misogyny. OMGWTF May 21 #10
My wife had a D&C due to miscarriage. This hits hard. NT Happy Hoosier May 21 #14
I had four of them. NanaCat May 21 #41
The only way things seem to change is for family members of Abbott, Paxton, and Patrick suffer a similar experience. surfered May 21 #15
The GOP elite will always have the best medical care available. Irish_Dem May 21 #27
Ignorance , religion and politics malaise May 21 #17
Jesus never said a word about abortion wryter2000 May 21 #20
The worst book ever actually required NanaCat May 21 #42
You know the Bible better than I do wryter2000 May 21 #47
I am absolutely gutted to read this. BobTheSubgenius May 21 #21
he had an update this a.m. about all the ppl calling him a liar. mopinko May 21 #23
My US-based daughter had something similar happen to her within the last couple of years. DFW May 21 #24
Cruel and criminal people May 21 #25
Kick dalton99a May 21 #26
Heck Of A Post - A Must Read ProfessorGAC May 21 #28
Thank you for this. I am so sorry for your family. Take care. Evolve Dammit May 21 #29
Sue the crap out of them. I don't know how women live in these states. onecaliberal May 21 #30
Women live in those states in blissful ignorance until something like this happens to them or someone close to them. ShazzieB May 21 #34
I don't understand that. My young daughters pay close attention. onecaliberal May 21 #37
And even more of them are stuck there NanaCat May 21 #43
Thank you for pointing this out. It is NOT easy to leave someone or someplace minus resources ... Hekate May 21 #45
Oh, you noticed that too. It is the old slave states -- racism & misogyny tightly wound together in hatred of anyone Hekate May 21 #39
I had a D and C for a missed/incomplete miscarriage at a Catholic hospital in Michigan decades ago. Freethinker65 May 21 #31
I hear people say they're taking us back to the pre-Roe days radical noodle May 22 #49
In Texas, a dead baby has more value than a live woman. DemocraticPatriot May 21 #33
I'm willing to help people. It must be so scary. onecaliberal May 21 #38
Mexico is now more liberal about abortion NanaCat May 21 #44
Isn't that crazy? So is Colombia... DemocraticPatriot May 22 #56
Barbaric. Treating suffering pregnant woman like this in 2024is criminal. So horrible and hateful. Timeflyer May 21 #35
I don't mean this content to be humorous - it is as serious as a heart attack soldierant May 21 #36
If course not. It's a Horrifically Apt cartoon. electric_blue68 May 22 #50
awful!! I just don't understand how these laws are still standing. nt ecstatic May 21 #46
I had 2 miscarriages because of how my uterus is formed. Years later, demigoddess May 21 #48
this makes me angry. ugh BlueWaveNeverEnd May 22 #51
Truly heartbreaking... Trueblue Texan May 22 #53
So sorry Jean Genie May 22 #55
Latest Discussions»General Discussion»My heart is broken?...