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(21,187 posts)
Wed Mar 27, 2024, 12:07 PM Mar 2024

Trump Forced to Sell Prized Collection of House Republicans [View all]



WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Drowning in debt, Donald J. Trump has been forced to unload his treasured collection of over two hundred Republican congresspersons.

“If the Joe Biden legal system can make me sell my politicians, it can make you sell yours,” he warned supporters at a rally in Michigan. “This should never be allowed to happen in this country.”

But even as the indicted businessman put his used legislators on the block, economist Davis Logsdon, who tracks the resale market for public officials, questioned how much they will fetch.“The first thing any prospective buyer of preowned politicians wants to know is, what condition are they in?” he said. “Unfortunately, many of these House Republicans are missing such crucial features as brains and spines, and, in the case of the men, two other parts.”

The economist cited the cautionary example of Koch Industries, which had to withdraw Rep. Matt Gaetz from eBay in February after he drew a top bid of $30.

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... MLAA Mar 2024 #1
How can he? Putin holds a lien on most of them. TheBlackAdder Mar 2024 #17
$30?! Something must be done to increase access to mental health care. Hermit-The-Prog Mar 2024 #2
Thank you for this. It made me laugh. pandr32 Mar 2024 #3
I could only afford one ThoughtCriminal Mar 2024 #4
Be sure to use Venmo. rubbersole Mar 2024 #6
BuyMike and make him oust himself twice a day. jaxexpat Mar 2024 #12
remineds me of a song DBoon Mar 2024 #5
Most of these GOP House members are damaged goods, not worth the effort. Instead, some of these SWBTATTReg Mar 2024 #7
Congress is protecting their own. lindysalsagal Mar 2024 #14
GOP politicians can't be worth very much IronLionZion Mar 2024 #8
On the face of it, true. But what they've been able to accomplish for America's adversaries is priceless! ffr Mar 2024 #25
GOP like to say "America First" IronLionZion Mar 2024 #28
tfg tactic DownriverDem Mar 2024 #9
Two for one. Marcuse Mar 2024 #10
Shouldn't that be MAGA sale? TSExile Mar 2024 #13
Speling and grammer is woke. Marcuse Mar 2024 #23
Needs More Clippy smb Mar 2024 #29
LOLOLOLOLOLOL! ShazzieB Mar 2024 #32
I thought the same thing COL Mustard Mar 2024 #38
Okay, that got a chuckle... Wounded Bear Mar 2024 #11
K&R William769 Mar 2024 #15
Believe he has found a Russian buyer, by the name of Putin. republianmushroom Mar 2024 #16
wait for the repo man et tu Mar 2024 #18
Hah - should have known BOROWITZ! - but have lost touch here for months UTUSN Mar 2024 #19
Hilarious! "Unfortunately, many of these House Republicans are missing such crucial features as brains and Martin68 Mar 2024 #20
ROFLMAO SouthernDem4ever Mar 2024 #21
Thank you for posting this LetMyPeopleVote Mar 2024 #22
Was that 30 pieces of silver? Nt Trueblue Texan Mar 2024 #24
Probably 30 pieces of FTX crypto Kennah Mar 2024 #30
I offered 30 pieces of silver for one of those bibles. usonian Mar 2024 #34
I'd rather have a used diaper than a used (or new) Republican Congress person. Dem2theMax Mar 2024 #26
ahhh, so good to have the Borowitz Report back! niyad Mar 2024 #27
Trafficking in fembots is illegal Kennah Mar 2024 #31
I'm so glad Andy's newsletters are back soldierant Mar 2024 #33
Hilarious HandmaidsTaleUntold Mar 2024 #35
Andy Borowitz! calimary Mar 2024 #36
your pic Celerity Mar 2024 #37
K&R 2naSalit Mar 2024 #39
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