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Response to aletier_v (Reply #76)

Tue Nov 20, 2012, 03:27 AM

86. It's a form of

self deportation for those of us who are citizens.

I can relate, have been to the suicide edge of the cliff a number of times since 2001 when it all started for me. It's hard and I found that moving to a small tourist town was the survival mode for me. Tourism has its good points as you can at least find work if you're willing/able to in most cases and multi-talent is welcomed... I have lots of skills but am finding it hard to get work, especially now because my last job of 15 months hurt my back one day and I have been arguing with worker's comp just to get a set of ex-rays and that took 4 months and I got them because I also applied for Soc. Sec at the same time. I knew that jobs that require lifting were no longer and option and needed documentation to keep the state from harassing me about why I wouldn't take certain jobs when they were offered. I have two degrees and a long history of working at many things, but none of it seems to matter.

So how do I stay sane and not jump off a cliff? I calmed down and started to meditate, again. It does things and all I can say is that once I calmed down from total freak out about losing my spartan housing, things started to work for me, not big but sufficient for me to have shelter and food, and eventually my back issues resolved, even though I had to get a lawyer.

So, if you are at the end of your self preservation, I suggest that you try to reconnect with your life force by whatever means, a religion or a belief system or simply finding a comfortable for you method of meditation, it really does change the energy around you so that you can survive your situation without going batshit crazy. Since I live in a rural place, I also have the blessing of wildlife and a place to go for solitude, just outside of the small town I live in, and that makes a lot of difference for me being the outdoorsy type... and in most cases, if something didn't get done today, it's probably okay if it gets done tomorrow instead. I sold everything but my car, my kitchen essentials, some bedding, essential clothing and my artwork, it all fits in my vehicle in two trips and I have it all in my tiny hovel. It's real survival mode but I don't need a lot of stuff... after a couple years I got another computer and a phone. My stress level is usually pretty low and I stopped having migraines. I figured back then that it wasn't going to get any better so I decided to just bail and be happy instead. For the most part that's what I've had until I hurt my back, but since it's going to heal eventually and it's a WC issue, I am actually going to survive this too, though I have less money and I might not be able to buy new boots this winter, I'll make it anyway. When I'm better, it'll be back to the seasonal stuff with no benes except the natural life around me, that is enough... and I am thankful to have it.

Cheer up, life will get better if you will it to be... even though it might be a bit different than you may have imagined.

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